We all have our own expectations of our Mr or Ms Right. But who we fall for could be the complete opposite of what we initially expected. Here at RSVP dating agency and singles club, we looked at the results from our singles ball in Northamptonshire and found that people who had specified criteria that meant we wouldn't match them, actually coupled off at our Winter Ball. We know what you're thinking "How could I possibly match with someone that doesn't meet my criteria?". But we've seen it happen right before our eyes at our amazing singles events.
Our professional Matching Team found that people they wouldn't have matched due to their criteria, were actually attracted to one another.
We all search for people who match the perfect person we have made up in our heads, based on criteria we've created or what we have experienced. For instance, if one of your ex-es had a really annoying voice, you would try and find someone without that annoying voice. Or if one of your ex-es had really bad table manners, we search for someone with a good table etiquette. It's only natural to try and imagine this perfect someone to avoid everything that we have experienced and didn't enjoy.
Do we settle for people just because they match our criteria though? We've all had people in our lives that we (at the time) thought were most compatible. Imagine someone that fitted our height/weight/10 miles from my house/no annoying voice criteria. Yes! Perfect! I hear you say... But they haven't got things that we hadn't first thought of, such as a good sense of humour, the ability to make you laugh or the fact that you may get on really well with their children.
People at the ball who we may have never put together based on their criteria, actually did get on really well or exchange numbers! Sometimes we have to remember that we are only human, we can't stop appreciating people for all the beautiful qualities that they do possess. We had people asking us to change their criteria, we had members go on hold with other members whom they had excluded as a potential match due to their criteria, but, they found chemistry with one another.
The real learning point is that the shopping list of requirements you spent so long putting together may actually be preventing you meeting the perfect partner, because each time you specify something - no-one with beards; no-one with children, you name it - you exclude everyone with those characteristics, which in truth may not be that important. Give your matches a chance, make the call, go for a coffee; you never know what the outcome could be.