Thursday, 30 August 2018

Why you should say yes when we phone you promoting an RSVP event

RSVP members often receive a friendly call from the team to try and persuade you to come out to our events because we know it is such a great way to meet potential new partners. For some of our members, the thought of it can be a bit scary initially. But in our experience, those that get the best from their membership are the ones that see events as a win:win situation – they may not meet the “one”  - but they are sure to have some fun!

Remember that seemingly unrelated and inconsequential encounters can have a great significance as you pursue your dreams. You might not meet the partner of your dreams at your first event - though there are plenty of RSVP success stories where that has happened - but you'll surely make some more friends and they may know someone who might be just right for you.
In today’s world of instant gratification and microwave popcorn, we need to take more time to focus on persistence while we remember that those things that happen easiest or fastest are often not the best.

So bear in mind, when you are attending events, that you should make an effort with how you come across to other members. Don't come straight from the gym or garden. Wear something relaxed but that shows that you have made an effort.
And keep the conversation light. Avoid politics, previous relationships or RSVP dates or the length of your RSVP membership and refrain from any complaints and comments on how your life might be better.  When you are smiling and having a good time you are much more attractive to others than when you are venting.

You want to make sure you are really focusing on the positive outcomes and do your best to push the negative out of your mind. The positive thoughts will make you much more receptive to experiencing positive feelings. Then you will start to relax and enjoy yourself.

Monday, 30 July 2018

Reality TV Dating - love it or hate it, it can actually teach us a lot about modern dating

In recent years, reality TV dating shows like Dating in the Dark, Dinner Date, First Dates, Love Island, Take Me Out and The Undateables, have taken the spotlight and caused quite a debate in the world of dating. Whether you love them or hate them, one thing you can be sure of is that they open up your eyes to the world of modern dating and just what lengths people will go to to find that special someone.

In the RSVP Dating Agency Head Office, there is a divide between the reality TV dating shows that we are not afraid to say we indulge in – some we favour more than others, but one thing we can agree on is that we have learnt some love lessons from our guilty addictions.

1.       You can’t force chemistry

When it comes to reality TV, some will fight hard for the spotlight – even faking or forcing chemistry that isn’t really there. But, as we tell our members, you can’t force that elusive chemistry – it’s either there or it isn’t.

2.       Don’t be so dramatic

All reality TV dating shows are dramatised on some level to get viewers talking and tuned in and that shouldn’t be something you look for in a real relationship. With any relationship you enter into, minimal drama should be the goal.

3.       Be yourself

In order to attract true love, you have to be true to yourself and to others. Imagine how a little white lie when you first meet can become so much more months down the line as the relationship develops.

4.       There’s more to love than attraction

So many of us confuse love with lust, but, as we’ve seen on numerous reality TV dating shows, the couple that gets together rarely stays together in the end. That’s probably because they both realised that yes, they like each other and are attracted to each other, but you need something much stronger than that to make it last.

Whichever reality TV dating show you indulge in, the scenes that we see on screen are not worlds away from the stories that we hear from prospective members who tell us about their disastrous dates in the hope that RSVP can offer them something different from what they have already experienced.

Here at RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club, we take the hard work out of dating. We don’t need you to cook a fancy three-course meal to get picked for a date or spend eight weeks locked in a villa with 11 strangers; all we need is an hour of your time to find out about you, your hobbies and interests and what you are looking for in a partner, and our expert matchmakers can handle the rest.

With two alternative routes on offer – RSVP singles events and the RSVP matchmaking service, we can double your chances of finding that someone special. If your current dating method is not working for you and you want to try something new, why not get in touch and arrange an appointment with one of our expert dating consultants?

Wednesday, 4 July 2018

Eight More Things I Have Learnt Will Help You Find Love

Following on from my previous post about 6 things I have learnt about love from my year at working at RSVP dating agency head office, here are a further 8 things I have learnt that will improve your chances of meeting the right person.

1) Don’t put too much importance on one date with someone; think of it as just a date or a meeting. Over-thinking things or letting your imagination run away with you is never going to be helpful. If the date doesn’t go well, don’t stop and replay it in your head; move on to the next one.

2) Do dress up and make an effort on dates. When our Dating Consultants meet prospective RSVP members, we hear them say that they are fed up of the other party not putting the effort in any more. I am not saying you need to dress up to the nines, but it is common sense to look clean and presentable on dates. Leave football shirts, trainers, scruffy jeans and dirty clothes in the wardrobe, along with that cliche 'they'll have to love me for what I am'.

3) Relax. Nerves are normal, particularly on your first date or first singles event. Just remember, RSVP is a traditional matchmaking agency; this is not online dating! All of our members have been met by our Dating Consultants and everyone is who we say they are, without exception. At RSVP, we suggest considering different activities for a date, not just the typical drinks at the pub. Our RSVP single events are a less nerve-wracking way of new meeting people, eg. guided tours, walks, dinners, adrenalin activities.
4) If in doubt after a first date, go on a second date. A first date may feel tough and nerves can get in the way. At a second date, you can relax and get to know each other better and this may help you decide whether to take it further. Two RSVP members who have recently got together are very grateful that we encouraged them to have a second date, despite having reservations after the first. 

5) At RSVP, we write bespoke profiles for all of our Gold and Platinum members. These are based what our experienced dating consultant learned about you at your meeting before joining. Trust us on this. We really are the experts on knowing exactly what to say in order to optimise your chances of generating lots of matches. We'll encourage you to resist putting in obscure details and references or strong opinions that others might not understand; it's so easy unknowingly to put off potential matches. Unfortunately we have seen this happen on a couple of occasions, when otherwise it could have been a perfect match.

6) You don't have to have identical hobbies and interests to be a great match. Of course, it is good to have common ground, but you don't have to both like skiing or musicals for it to be a good introduction. To me, and I am sure to many others, what is more important is if the same things make you laugh, if you have the same family values or that you are on the same page emotionally.

7) Make friends at RSVP. I have seen so many friendships formed with different RSVP members at RSVP singles events, which is great. Occasionally we hear things along the lines of ‘I already have friends, so I don’t want to go to events if there isn’t someone for me’. I disagree with this:

  • Firstly, you might find someone at RSVP singles events who you are attracted to unexpectedly.
  • Secondly, you could make friends with other members at events; you can never have too many friends! Within new friendship circles, you can get introduced to a wider audience. 
  • Thirdly, some food for thought: a lady joined us who made a female friend at an RSVP singles dinner. She was invited to her birthday BBQ. There she was introduced to Birthday Girl’s brother. They are now married! 

8) Be open to trying new things and different places. Whilst it may be daunting at first, if you are single and looking for a partner, now is the time to break out of a rut and try something new. Opening doors to new experiences, hobbies or opinions outside your bubble will, without doubt, increase your chances of meeting someone new.

Tuesday, 5 June 2018

Six Things that I Have Learnt About Love After a Year Working at RSVP

I am celebrating one year as part of the Head office team at RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club and I have seen countless happy-ever-after stories. When I tell people what I do, they are fascinated and ask lots of questions. Here are six things that I have learned about love in the last year.

1) Members who join us with an open mind and a positive attitude are the ones who typically meet someone faster - and get more out of their introductions and our singles events. If you are unhappy and resentful because you are not in a relationship, this attitude won’t encourage people to want to be in a relationship with you.

2) People don’t always know what they want until they find it. On occasions, we come across members who have a shopping list of what they think they want. If on paper their matches don’t tick every box, they don’t seem so interested. I will always suggest that you meet as many people as you can and you will be surprised that what you thought you wanted originally might change. At RSVP we write your profile for you; we have been doing this for 25 years and we know exactly what kind of profiles work well.

3)  ‘I am a young  58’. Believe me when I say we hear this multiple times every day. What does that even mean? In theory, we live in a far more ageless society than ever before. However, the whole age issue has stopped countless romances that could have been wonderful. Members who won’t date anyone older than them are undoubtedly shooting themselves in the foot. If you met someone in a pub, you wouldn’t know their age. Yes, we will tell your introductions your real age and you will know their real age. Would you prefer to be matched with someone who is fit and active who happens to be 3 years older than you with a young and modern attitude? Or would you rather see someone who is 8 years younger than you who isn’t active and behaves older?

4) Dating is a numbers game. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find 'the one'. We want to help you find the right partner as quickly as possible, so don’t put all of your eggs in one basket; it is quite normal to be talking to different people and arranging a couple of different dates until you both choose to become exclusive or you become intimate. Mixing introductions with our singles events will increase your chances of meeting a partner.

5) Have realistic expectations about a potential partner. Did you know the average dress size for ladies in the UK is size 16 and the average height for men is 5ft 9in? So if you are a gentleman wanting a lady no bigger than a size 10, you'll inadventently exclude more than half of potential matches. Likewise if you are a lady looking for a man over 6 foot tall with a full head of hair. Dating agencies are often the haunt of second timers; and if it is a long time since you were previously single, you'll need to adjust your expectations from what you expected previously when you were 25.

6) It only takes one right person to make all of those bad dates seem like a lifetime ago. We have had members go from ‘I am giving up and I’m not going to date for a while’ to ‘this is the one and thank you’ within a week. If your current dating method is not working for you,  get in touch and arrange an appointment with one of our expert dating consultants.

Thursday, 5 April 2018

More Online Dating Fraud

We have all heard the scare stories in the media of the perils of meeting people on line. With, seemingly every month, another new app or dating website popping up, there really is a lot of choice out there. But is one better than the other and do they all come with the same warnings? Here at RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club we meet real people, in real time. We interview everyone and they often tell us of their online dating horror stories.

One lady we interviewed had met a guy on a popular, free website and spent months – yes, months – corresponding with him via email. We’ll call him Bernard. As the messages flew back and forth the emotional connection (and the time invested) grew. After Bernard sent some images of himself, a well-meaning friend of our prospective client used Google’s Reverse Image Search to discover that Bernard was, in real life, a dancer in New York and actually not residing locally as she first thought. When she asked him why, Bernard closed his email account and she never heard from him again. She was lucky. She only wasted months of her time.

Another gentleman we interviewed met a girl on line and spoke to her on the telephone. After no response to his texts for a couple of days, she eventually made contact asking for £2,000, stating that she was stranded abroad after having her bag supposedly stolen. Thankfully, he declined her kind offer .... but will the next chap she approaches be so savvy?

As an industry leader in dating for over 25 years, RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club is often asked to comment about national news stories. Michelle recently offered BBC Radio Leicester listeners advice on online dating fraud.

If you value your confidentiality, your time, your wealth and, ultimately, your safety, contact RSVP to arrange an interview with one of our dedicated Dating Consultants and let the professionals find you love.

Tuesday, 13 March 2018

Love will never go out of style - only the way we find it will change

If there is one thing we can guarantee at RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club, it is that love will never go out of style. The desire to couple-up is still at the forefront of people’s minds and will continue to magnify, bringing more relationship-orientated people to the dating pool.

Whether you love them or hate them, in recent years we have seen a surge in the number of online dating apps and while online dating will continue to make it easy for people to meet others, it seems that people we see every day are missing the authenticity of real-life encounters.

As the technology on our smartphones continues to develop, so will online dating apps. There are already apps on the market that have a video chat option and dating experts believe that this will only continue to expand throughout the market in 2018.

It's been said that online dating can be a full-time job, so, as people grow more and more fatigued by online encounters, the idea of face-to-face dating will expand past our smartphones and matchmaking will get trendy again, along with the idea of shared experiences for singles - events, tours, walks, dinners - all things that we specialise in at RSVP.

Being a traditional dating agency, we constantly hear from our members about how fed up they are with online dating and how impersonal and disconnected it feels. At RSVP, our experienced Dating Consultants take into account the things that are most important to you and open your eyes to the possibilities and potential matches that could be available to you. They are there to advise and support you every step of your dating journey and put the personal touch back into dating.

For those looking to meet someone in a more natural environment, our hosted singles events allow people to meet in a group setting, giving a more relaxed approach to dating. With activities, dinners, suppers, tours and our infamous singles balls, we consider a variety of different tastes, budgets, lifestyles and locations when creating our quarterly events calendar and host many superb events every week!

Over our 25 years of being established, RSVP’s expert matchmaking and events teams have worked with a huge variety of people and, whether they are male or female, young or old, they all have one thing in common: they are all actively looking to find someone to share their life with away from the games that blight modern dating.

If you want to find out more about our services and the memberships on offer, please contact RSVP here.

Thursday, 1 March 2018

Don't make the first date an interview.

I’ve been getting a lot of feedback from RSVP dating members lately, who decide not to go on a second date because they feel they are being interviewed when they first meet someone. I am sure that no-one sets out to interrogate their match on a first meeting and there can be many reasons why this happens. Often members want to appear confident and in control of the situation, which leads them to ask lots of questions. Another reason can be that you have spent a lot of time building up the person in your mind and you are genuinely interested in finding out more in the excitement of a first meeting.  Whatever the reason, if you are aware that this can be off-putting, you can take steps to avoid this. Here are few tips.
  1. Be realistic about how much information you can expect to find out about your date on a first meeting.  Don’t try and work out if this is “the one”.  You just need to know, 'would I enjoy meeting this person again?'. Take things one step at a time.
  2. It’s important to appear interested in your date, so you do want to ask some questions. Just make sure they are fairly light-hearted. Avoid questions that are too deep or personal; neither of you should be talking about ex-partners on a first meeting. Or whether you want children. Or whether you want to get married (again). Have a look at this article to give you some ideas.
  3. Once you have asked your questions, listen to what they are saying! There’s nothing worse than being asked to talk about yourself and then not listened to once you start answering the question.
  4. Try and be open-minded about what you are hearing. It’s very rare for any two partners to agree on everything or have identical hobbies and interests, plus sometimes opposites attract, so give the person a fair chance.
  5. Whilst you do want to hear about the other person, be prepared to talk a little about yourself. I often hear people say that you have two ears and one mouth, so you should think about a ratio of about 2:1 listening: talking.