Here at RSVP Dating agency and singles club, one of the things that we often hear from our many success stories is that, aside from the events or the introductions where they met their partner, the biggest takeaway for them was the advice and support that they received from our experienced team of matchmakers.
Like all parts of life, when it comes to dating and developing relationships we can develop bad habits and, most of the time, we don’t even realise that we have fallen into these, until we take the time to sit down and honestly look at how we conduct ourselves on dates or the issue is raised constructively by a third party, such as our knowledgeable matchmakers.
Why not start 2019 off with a new outlook on love and dating and ditch the 6 most common dating bad habits that people fall into?
1. Being too hard on yourself
It is human nature to indulge a little negative self-talk every once in a while, but, when it comes to dating, it can really hinder the experience for both yourself and your date. When the capacity for negative self-talk becomes too harsh and critical, it blocks you from being able to relax and enjoy the dating experience; become so self-conscious that it is impossible for your date to see the real you behind all the tension and anxiety. You become convinced that as soon as your date sees the real you, they will run for the hills. But what you don’t realise is that negative self-talk is putting up barriers and blocking your date from seeing all the things that make you you. Whilst anxiety before a date is natural, don’t let the negative self-talk stop you from shining through and enjoying the moment.
2. Having unrealistic expectations of your date
Let’s face it, from the moment you read the profile of your match, you begin to construct a mental picture of what they are going to be like. But the issue arises when you live for the fantasy of that person rather than the reality and you start daydreaming about the first meeting, the first kiss and even the wedding. If you find yourself rereading every message looking for information that supports the fantasy you have created, I can guarantee that when you finally meet that person in real life, you are going to be disappointed, not because they are a bad match, but because the fantasy person that you have built up in your mind is not real and no person, no matter how amazing, will be able to measure up. Instead, be open-minded; don’t read something into everything and, who knows, you might be pleasantly surprised.
3. Trying to be something you are not
When a member joins RSVP dating agency, often their number one reason is because they have tried other dating methods and formed relationships that have ultimately been forged on lies. People often employ slight exaggerations of the truth and little white because they do not believe they are enough as they are. They believe they’re harmless and will never be discovered. But the truth always has a way of coming out. The little white lies may impress in the beginning, but all you are doing is stopping the person you are dating from seeing the real you. No healthy long-term relationship can survive on a foundation of dishonesty. Do you really want to spend the next fifty years of your life pretending to be someone you’re not to impress a date? Or would you rather be yourself and find someone who likes you for you?
4. Using dates as a form of therapy
Dating can be tough; there’s no denying that, particularly if it has come as a result of some emotional pain. Finding yourself in a relaxed environment with someone who seems caring, gentle and kind can prompt the floodgates to open for some people. However, just as you don’t want to take any baggage into a new relationship, you don’t want to open the floodgates on a date; it leads the other person to feel more like a counsellor than a potential partner and can stop things from developing further, as they feel you are not ready.
People with a positive and enthusiastic attitude towards life are more attractive and, even though things may go wrong, they don’t usually let them ruin their day. Some people, however, have developed the habit of complaining and will complain about everything from the traffic to the service and the food and they may not even be aware that they are doing it. If you find yourself complaining a lot, make a conscious effort to focus on the positive and the things that you are grateful for. It will make you a happier person and a better date.
6. Bad manners
Make a habit of having good manners in all aspects of dating - reply to correspondence; thank someone for a date even if you don’t want to see them again; if you have made the decision to not take it any further, let them know and wish them all the best for their dating journey. Most importantly, be civil and courteous to all people.
By changing some of these most common dating bad habits you will find that, rather than feeling despondent and exasperated with your dating journey, you will start to relax and enjoy the experiences it brings about.