Stranger Danger - staying safe online dating

It’s scary out there in the world of online dating. But here at RSVP singles club and dating agency, we are able to offer a safety net. 

 

Think back to your childhood for a minute; what message was instilled into you, by your parents, grandparents and teachers at school? 

 

STRANGER DANGER. 

 

With the advent of the internet, has this message managed to become a little confusing to us all? So we are not supposed to talk to strangers, take sweets, follow them to their cars to look at cute Kittens or Puppies, but we can talk to anyone on the internet? Is that safe? Well, what harm will it do? They can’t even see me. I mean Strangers are only friends that we haven’t met yet, right? If we don’t take a risk we wouldn’t have any friends or relationships.

 

I’m a sensible man, successful career, been there, done that, seen it all, I understand the 6 Ps -

• Prior
• Preparation
• Prevents
• P*ss
• Poor
• Performance

 

So what is the attraction? Simple: it’s the instant gratification that we feel when chatting online. Maybe we need to slow down and believe that we can’t rush something that we expect to last forever. 

 

We all think it won’t happen to me and internet dating works for many; in no way am I suggesting it doesn’t, however I hope I have given you food for thought... 

 

Take a peek at your own online profile – does it need an MOT or a few safety checks? Are you flaunting your wealth? Is the attractive young woman who’s messaging you absolutely stunning – and perhaps more so that you could reasonably expect in a partner? Is it all too good to be true? 

 

Happy Dating.

Is internet dating 'the darkest alley of them all'?

If you're dating, you can't have missed coverage of the trial and conviction of Jason Lawrance who was found guilty of raping five women he met on match.com. He has been sentenced to life imprisonment.

The Daily Mail reports Alan Charles, Derbyshire's Police & Crime Commissioner, as saying: 'Personal safety advice used to incorporate avoiding walking alone down dark alleys at night, but the internet can be the darkest alley of all.

'The popularity of any website where personal information is required does raise the question of security and more needs to be done to keep people aware of the dangers.

Detective Chief Inspector Allison Rigby, of Derbyshire Police, said: 'He utilised Match as a means to target females who were divorced or widowed. I hope this case will give dating websites the opportunity to revisit their own procedures for dealing with complaints received about particular members. I would urge them to make sure processes are in place and are robust.'

Match has been conspicuously silent during the whole episode and has allowed George Kidd of the recently-formed Online Dating Association to field questions on radio and TV.

Why might internet dating be the darkest alley of all?

Because it's cheap. And cheap dating is cheap for a reason:

• There is no-one to police it; 
• There is no-one to check your ID when you join; 
• There is no-one to vet who joins, so anyone can join and anyone does; 
• There is nobody to know who you're meeting; 
• There is no-one to talk to when things go wrong; 

RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club is not cheap dating. We meet every single prospective member before they join, specifically to offer reassurance to our members that they will be safe dating and going singles events with RSVP. Plus, you can talk to our team of experts whenever you like.

Yes, it costs us more; yes, our clients pay more. But if you can afford a holiday once a year, you can afford RSVP.

Sometimes in life, it's worth paying a fair price for a personal and safe service.

Call us today to chat things through with one of our friendly team of experts: 01572 774884.

Our Winter Calendar

Have you made your New Year's resolutions for 2016 yet? There is always the usual - wanting to lose weight, wanting to get out more and of course to have more fun! Dating Agency and Singles Club RSVP's resolution this year is to help you find that special someone, so we have some amazing events to look forward to and RSVP's expert team of match makers are waiting to help you find Mr or Ms Right!

Here at RSVP, we are dusting away the cobwebs of 2015 and springing into what 2016 holds for us! Our new singles events calendar is fun-filled to keep our members busy whilst the days start to get lighter.

We have some amazing adrenaline activities in our calendar, such as The Extreme Off Road 4x4 Driving experience, a superb singles activity in Leicestershire and an opportunity to show off your off road driving skills! We're as eager to get going as you are!

If you would rather keep your feet on the ground, why not book onto our Welsh Walking Weekend? A great way to meet new people, taking in the beautiful scenery of Llangollen's countryside. It's a great way to shed the extra pigs in blankets or Christmas pudding we demolished over the festive period. Dust off your walking boots; this is not to be missed.

Going on RSVP singles events really does boost your chances of meeting someone. Think about it; instead of just waiting for an introduction every month, you could meet 10 new single people on one singles event! So going to two or three events a month, you could meet around 30 new people instead of just your one introduction! The thing to remember also is that not everyone has introductions, so those on RSVP Gold & Platinum dating memberships could be missing out on meeting our lovely Neon members! With 30 Singles Events every month it would be crazy to exclude yourself from the possibilities and having a great time. What's more, events allow you to meet those you unwittingly excluded in the criteria you specified at the outset - but might just find chemistry with.

And in March we have our Exclusive RSVP Ball - A Night in Las Vegas, cunningly disguised as a Singles Ball in Northamptonshire! After a delicious four course meal, step into Las Vegas and try your hand at Black Jack and Roulette, you'll be given 'play chips' for the professional gaming tables and croupiers. It's an opportunity for you to dress to impress and meet lots of our gorgeous members. You can even have a tipple and stay over at the luxurious venue. If you haven't played in a while or never even played before, come and practise with some experienced West End and Mayfair croupiers! Learn the hints and tips in order to maximise your game.

We look forward to seeing your faces at our events. If you're not a member yet, book a meeting with one of RSVP's expert Dating Consultants and let us help you on your journey to find that special someone. Kick start your resolutions today.

Dating Fads don't last

We've all been there; dieting fads are the burden of our lives. Our friends join slimming world or start some juicing diet, we start to ponder on whether we ought to do the same - "does my bum look big in this?". Here at dating agency and singles club RSVP, we have noticed it's similar in dating.

From speed dating to internet dating, there are so many fads around. We've delved into the fads of dating and we have found that it is just like fad diets - they all come and go. It's all down to the bandwagon effect, whereby when people uptake the beliefs, ideas and fads, it's more than likely already been adopted by others. As more of us start to believe in something, our friends also tend to "hop on the bandwagon", blind to the underlying evidence. You can read more about the bandwagon effect on Wikipedia here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bandwagon_effect

Of course, given the option, most of us would go for free diets rather than diets we have to pay for, and it is the same with dating. But, what really works? If it's free it is only going to help you so far, where as if you pay for a service, you generally get that service don't you? So instead of losing 1lb a year, you've lost 2lb this week.

Your friend has just joined a free dieting service; she is so excited and makes it sound amazing! You join, one week later... What diet? You can go for free dating services - there are any number out there - and spend weeks of your precious life messaging people but never meet anyone, or you could pay for a service such as RSVP and meet new people at RSVP's hosted singles events or through one-to-one matches from our team of matchmaking experts! Plus, when something's free, anyone can join - and anyone does; but there's no guarantee they are who they say they are. By contrast, every RSVP member you meet or speak to are actually who they say they are. We know because we've met them; every one of them.

People disguise their identity and characteristics through the internet, making them seem more eligible than they really are! Men tend to lie about their height and send you older photos of themselves when they were a bit more trim and had more hair; women tend to lie about their weight and again, use older photos. At RSVP, we have met every single one of our members and prospective members, we know who they are, where they live and what they're like. And we prepare the profiles, so there are none of those fibs you get in internet dating.

A fad is a fad because it doesn't last. RSVP was established in 1992, so we've already outlived mot of the dating fads you'll have come across. Furthermore, RSVP memberships are lifetime memberships, lasting as long as you do. You could put an end to your list of dating fads if you join us here at RSVP. You could be meeting your Mr or Ms Right in no time.

Behind the scenes at the RSVP Winter Ball...

We all have our own expectations of our Mr or Ms Right. But who we fall for could be the complete opposite of what we initially expected. Here at RSVP dating agency and singles club, we looked at the results from our singles ball in Northamptonshire and found that people who had specified criteria that meant we wouldn't match them, actually coupled off at our Winter Ball. We know what you're thinking "How could I possibly match with someone that doesn't meet my criteria?". But we've seen it happen right before our eyes at our amazing singles events.

Our professional Matching Team found that people they wouldn't have matched due to their criteria, were actually attracted to one another.

We all search for people who match the perfect person we have made up in our heads, based on criteria we've created or what we have experienced. For instance, if one of your ex-es had a really annoying voice, you would try and find someone without that annoying voice. Or if one of your ex-es had really bad table manners, we search for someone with a good table etiquette. It's only natural to try and imagine this perfect someone to avoid everything that we have experienced and didn't enjoy.

Do we settle for people just because they match our criteria though? We've all had people in our lives that we (at the time) thought were most compatible. Imagine someone that fitted our height/weight/10 miles from my house/no annoying voice criteria. Yes! Perfect! I hear you say... But they haven't got things that we hadn't first thought of, such as a good sense of humour, the ability to make you laugh or the fact that you may get on really well with their children.

People at the ball who we may have never put together based on their criteria, actually did get on really well or exchange numbers! Sometimes we have to remember that we are only human, we can't stop appreciating people for all the beautiful qualities that they do possess. We had people asking us to change their criteria, we had members go on hold with other members whom they had excluded as a potential match due to their criteria, but, they found chemistry with one another.

The real learning point is that the shopping list of requirements you spent so long putting together may actually be preventing you meeting the perfect partner, because each time you specify something - no-one with beards; no-one with children, you name it - you exclude everyone with those characteristics, which in truth may not be that important. Give your matches a chance, make the call, go for a coffee; you never know what the outcome could be.

Finding love in Autumn

The bitter cold weather is coming, we are digging out our woolly jumpers and the leaves on the trees are changing colour. This can only mean one thing; Autumn is coming, and it's coming quickly.

Here at singles club and dating agency RSVP, we think that autumn is a perfect time of year to meet someone new, maybe at one of our singles events or through one of our hand-selected matches.

Coffee dates make classical first date options, and it means you will warm up in the mean time. It's less pressure than an intimate dinner, and depending on whether you fancy your match, you can make the date as long or short as you like! They are also a great way to meet people; everyone can chat over a coffee and a cheeky slice of cake. We hold coffee mornings regularly, meaning you don't even have to arrange your coffee dates; as always, RSVP's team of experts do the hard work for you. All you need to do is turn up and meet some new people.

Autumn has the best activities that you could do in pairs. Breaking the ice gently with things such as apple picking, carving a pumpkin, Halloween parties and not forgetting the classic stroll in the park with that special someone - perfect timing to lean in just that little bit closer, or wear their jacket when you need it. I can hear the crispy leaves under your feet now!

You are more likely to fall in love in autumn, due to your attitude changing as well as the seasons! In the summer, most of us like to kick back and have some fun. But once autumn comes around we all mature a little again and become somewhat more serious. More people get into relationships or become engaged in the autumn months.

The holidays are nearing. After you've finished taking down your Halloween decorations, you're more anxious to pair up with someone ready for Christmas and New Year. At the end of the day, who wants to be alone for the holidays? You could even book onto our events around Christmas time such as a Mix & Mingle or come along to our New Year's Even Gala Ball! Like I said, no one wants to be on their own during these joyous times.

So, what are you waiting for? Grab your woollies and get out there! Enjoy a coffee with that special someone or help another with their apple picking - you could even get a crumble out of it. What have you got to lose?

Call me today on 01572 774884 - or fill in the contact form here - and we'll get things started.

Is there still a place for romance?

Lucy Worsley on Romance, copyright BBC

In her recent BBC documentary series "A Very British Romance", Lucy Worsley has treated us to details of romance in times past. But is there still a place for romance in the modern world of Tinder and the like?

Well, maybe. Here at dating agency RSVP, we still have plenty of romantics on our books, looking not just for love, but for the romance that goes with it.

In days gone by, men used to write poems in order to impress the ladies, using descriptive words such as 'blushing' or 'quivering' in order to make the women understand how they were feeling.

Here at RSVP, our members have moved with the times but managed to keep some of that traditional romance too. That ‘Good Morning’ text is far from just a good morning text – it’s thought of as the quickest way to let someone special know that, even across the miles, you are thinking of them. Similarly, a ‘Goodnight’ text is considered an intimate way of saying 'you're my last thought of the day'. 

Sometimes romance is getting an extra 'x' on a text message, making someone feel that little bit more special even when you're not at each others side.

I recall a phone call from a lovely gentleman - a Platinum RSVP member - who wanted to think out of the box; he didn’t want to make his third date the same as any other - a nice restaurant for a good meal, bunches of flowers or chocolates; he wanted to be the one who stood out from the rest, so with the help of one of our expert matchmakers, his next date, was a ‘Mystery tour’; they jumped in to his car with no plans except to drive for no more than one hour taking unknown roads until they spotted some place that took their fancy, chattering excitedly along the way, getting to know each other.

Another of our ladies called to tell us that, from the first call, she knew that the man we had matched her with was different, although the plan for the first date sounded normal enough - drinks; that turned in to a meal when neither wanted to part company so soon. The second date was a stroll around a stately home and gardens, where he surprised her with a home-made picnic - featuring Prosecco, champagne flutes and poached salmon - not a sausage roll in sight. 

Romance is action. Characterising people by their actions means we will never be fooled by their words. However, when feelings are mutual, the effort will be equalised; so, ladies, remembering to ask him how his day went goes a long way.

Dressing up to go out is an important aspect of romance for many RSVP members when they head out on RSVP singles events. Many will go to extra effort and get glammed up for our singles ball in Northamptonshire, this weekend.

So, in our view romance is still very much alive - it just takes a little effort - as it always did, in fact.