Monday, 23 July 2012

Dating Disasters

I was asked to speak to BBC West Midlands Radio last week about dating disasters and the biggest turn-offs for men and women. I think most of our dating members at RSVP are pretty intelligent and clued up about dating, so most of my stories of horror come from the experiences our members have had before they joined RSVP. That is one of the big advantages of joining a dating agency. Any good dating agency should be aiming to help you be as successful as possible in meeting the person of your dreams. Here are some of my top tips that I give to new members going dating with RSVP.

1. Be realistic and set yourself realistic goals when meeting someone for the first time. By keeping your cool and not setting unattainably high expectations, you avoid disappointment. Instead, your goal should be to have fun and see if there's any potential chemistry.

2. Make the first date a meeting for coffee or a drink. Keep the meeting light and relaxed.

3. Make an effort with your appearance. Don't come straight from the gym or garden. Wear something relaxed but that shows you have actually thought about the other person before you came to meet them. If you want some help with what to wear, RSVP's own image coach has plenty of useful tips.

4. Keep the conversation light; talk a little and then let your date talk. Ask your date lots of questions about them. DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR EX PARTNER.

5. Avoid taking calls on your phone or texting whilst out with a date - it's just plain rude! The person you are sitting with is going to think you aren't interested in them.

6. Be prepared to give the person a chance. Don't judge them by one statement that annoys you when you really don't know the context. Remember they are going to be as nervous as you are and it is normal to be nervous!

7. Play it cool and never come on too strong. Wait to see if your feelings are reciprocated before you declare your undying love. And don't bombard someone you've just met with text messages and calls - it scares them off.

And please remember not to lose sight of the fact that the people you are meeting are real people with real feelings just like you. At the very least, enjoy having coffee with someone new and give them the courtesy of listening to what they have to say for a couple of hours. If you find that there's no chemistry at the end of the date, then be polite but honest. One of the biggest moans I hear from RSVP dating agency members is that the person they saw on a date says they want to meet again and then disappears.

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