Monday, 8 October 2012

Why it's worth keeping your phone out of sight on a date

I'm sure that all you avid daters keep up to date with the latest publication of the The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, the international journal that publishes research on social and personal relationships. But just in case you missed the last one issued in September, it gave some very good advice about why you shouldn't look at your mobile phone during a romantic date.

That's obvious, I hear you say, I know I should be focusing on my date 100%, you've mentioned it enough in the RSVP dating blog. Well the research discovered that it's not just the fact that you will appear rude by checking your messages or the time.

Psychologists have discovered that the mere presence of a mobile phone or device may influence what your date is thinking about too. When they spot the device, their mind can start wandering and they begin to think about other people and events outside of the immediate social context.

When you are on a date with someone you fancy - or even at one of RSVP's many singles events, you should be trying to create a connection between the two of you so that your date wants to see you again. Like living organisms, relationships have a beginning, a lifespan and an end. They tend to grow and improve gradually, as people get to know each other and become closer emotionally. The beginning of a relationship is the most fragile, as the connection between you is so slight, it can break at any time. This is the stage when first impressions are so key. A vast amount of research has been done to look at how you can influence the success of this stage. You really can make a difference.

So, remember when you glance at your phone to check the time, not only will they think you need a lesson in manners, their mind will also start to wander and they'll start thinking about other things. And don't place the phone on the table where it can be seen - even the presence of a phone or i-pad in eye-shot can interfere with the connection you are trying to make with your date.

If you want more hints and tips on how to make your date go well, have a look at RSVP's dating tips and advice site.

And if you want to read more about the psychology of why and how we fall for someone, the book Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose gives a great insight, with some real research to back up the statements it makes – well worth reading.

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