Like all parts of life, when it comes to dating and
developing relationships we can develop bad habits and, most of the time, we
don’t even realise that we have fallen into these, until we take the time to
sit down and honestly look at how we conduct ourselves on dates or the issue is
raised constructively by a third party, such as our knowledgeable matchmakers.
Why not start 2019 off with a new outlook on love and dating
and ditch the 6 most common dating bad habits that people fall into?
1.
Being too hard on yourself
It is human nature to indulge a little negative self-talk
every once in a while, but, when it comes to dating, it can really hinder the
experience for both yourself and your date. When the capacity for negative self-talk
becomes too harsh and critical, it blocks you from being able to relax and
enjoy the dating experience; become so self-conscious that it is impossible for
your date to see the real you behind all the tension and anxiety. You become
convinced that as soon as your date sees the real you, they will run for the
hills. But what you don’t realise is that negative self-talk is putting up
barriers and blocking your date from seeing all the things that make you you.
Whilst anxiety before a date is natural, don’t let the negative self-talk stop
you from shining through and enjoying the moment.
2.
Having unrealistic expectations
of your date
Let’s face it, from the moment you read the profile of your
match, you begin to construct a mental picture of what they are going to be
like. But the issue arises when you live for the fantasy of that person rather
than the reality and you start daydreaming about the first meeting, the first
kiss and even the wedding. If you find yourself rereading every message looking
for information that supports the fantasy you have created, I can guarantee
that when you finally meet that person in real life, you are going to be
disappointed, not because they are a bad match, but because the fantasy person
that you have built up in your mind is not real and no person, no matter how
amazing, will be able to measure up. Instead, be open-minded; don’t read
something into everything and, who knows, you might be pleasantly surprised.
3.
Trying to be something you are
not
When a member joins RSVP dating agency, often their
number one reason is because they have tried other dating methods and formed
relationships that have ultimately been forged on lies. People often employ
slight exaggerations of the truth and little white because they do not believe
they are enough as they are. They believe they’re harmless and will never be
discovered. But the truth always has a way of coming out. The little white lies
may impress in the beginning, but all you are doing is stopping the person you
are dating from seeing the real you. No healthy long-term relationship can
survive on a foundation of dishonesty. Do you really want to spend the next
fifty years of your life pretending to be someone you’re not to impress a date?
Or would you rather be yourself and find someone who likes you for you?
4.
Using dates as a form of therapy
Dating can be tough; there’s no denying that, particularly
if it has come as a result of some emotional pain. Finding yourself in a
relaxed environment with someone who seems caring, gentle and kind can prompt
the floodgates to open for some people. However, just as you don’t want to take
any baggage into a new relationship, you don’t want to open the floodgates on a
date; it leads the other person to feel more like a counsellor than a potential
partner and can stop things from developing further, as they feel you are not
ready.
5.
Complaining
People with a positive and enthusiastic attitude towards
life are more attractive and, even though things may go wrong, they don’t
usually let them ruin their day. Some people, however, have developed the habit
of complaining and will complain about everything from the traffic to the
service and the food and they may not even be aware that they are doing it. If
you find yourself complaining a lot, make a conscious effort to focus on the
positive and the things that you are grateful for. It will make you a happier
person and a better date.
6.
Bad manners
Make a habit of having good manners in all aspects of
dating - reply to correspondence; thank someone for a date even if you don’t
want to see them again; if you have made the decision to not take it any
further, let them know and wish them all the best for their dating journey.
Most importantly, be civil and courteous to all people.
By changing some of these most common dating bad
habits you will find that, rather than feeling despondent and exasperated with
your dating journey, you will start to relax and enjoy the experiences it
brings about.
If reading this you have found yourself recognising
some of the traits in you and you want to ditch the bad habits to find love
this year, why not meet with one of our experienced dating consultants
to find out more about how we can help? Contact one of our lovely team
today to find out more.
