New Year, New You

This is the second in a series of posts commissioned by RSVP from Becki Coombe. When not date-hunting herself, Becki delivers a range of education and training courses. One of Becki’s main areas of interest is teaching people how to provide Mental Health ‘First Aid’ but even more pro-actively encouraging others to recognise and look after their own wellbeing. You can read more about what Becki does at www.thelearn2group.org.uk.

I am going to go out on a limb here and assume that you are in the midst of making Christmas lists and even thinking of resolutions that you may want to make for 2020? And this is, of course, is particularly relevant for members of dating agency RSVP, as some of us may have even put dating one-to-one or going out on RSVP singles events on our lists and resolutions?!!

In my previous blog post I posed the question “Are we where we want to be?” and I suggested that if we weren’t happy and satisfied in the three areas of emotional wellbeing, active lifestyle and nutritional balance, then perhaps we could make changes so that we can be content in our own skins and be confident that any future potential partner would therefore like us ‘for us’.

So to follow on, in this post I am going to focus specifically on achieving a nutritional balance.

Honestly, hand on heart, who has said (either to themselves or out loud) “In the New Year there’s going to be a new me”? For those who have, I am imagining that those thoughts have been matched with ideas of exercising, possible gym memberships and perhaps a type of diet?

If yes, I would now like to scream at you “STOP RIGHT THERE!!!”

1) We love the existing you!
Warts ‘n’ all, creases and laughter lines but most of all – what’s on your inside; your thoughts, wit and intelligence. So, if you are considering making any changes at all to your lifestyle and outlook I would recommend that you do it… FOR YOURSELF and no-one else!

2) Why New Year?!
Do you thrive on the pressure of a looming deadline or by ticking off jobs on a ‘to-do’ list? If so, you will know that when we actually action our tasks, they get done. For myself, I am likely to leave a job I don’t really want to do, I am not sure how to do, or I am not sure how successful I will be at – until a future date.

So, why not give yourself a Christmas present, put a plan in place to change your lifestyle and start it TODAY!?! 

3) Nutritional Balance isn’t about Dieting!
(and I have complete scientific proof for this...)

I follow a nutritionally balanced diet and try to stick to a more or less regulated daily calorie intake. I find nutrition, exercise and following my lifestyle interesting so I enter and read all of my data on an App called ‘My Fitness Pal’. I started using this App in June 2018 and continued to lose weight over the period of one year. My body shape and size changed and I became toned and looked healthy.

Since June 2019 my weight has (very gradually) increased, but my tone and body shape have got better if anything! Oh and the scientific proof I mentioned – my fat pants! Last week I was quite put out as I weighed myself for the first time in 2 months and (apparently!) I had put on 1.2kg. But, here’s the thing. All of my trousers are feeling extremely comfortable – with room in them AND my go-to fat pants fit absolutely fine – again with room! 

If you don’t own something similar yourself, the fat pants that I am referring to are a pair or trousers that at one time I only dreamed of being able to wear again – and I did think that would be quite unlikely! They are the trousers that don’t lie – they will very clearly tell me if I have put on weight (as with any additional weight I might not even be able to fit a leg in them, never mind my bum and actually do them up)?!!

So what I would very much like to highlight in achieving nutritional balance is, I believe food intake is not about dieting or feeling hungry and NOT about relying on scale weights to track your success.

In brief (get in touch if you would like to know more), my nutritional balance recommendations are:
- calorie intake should match (or be less than) calories you use in the day* (any more is stored as fat)
- protein makes you feel fuller and for longer* (it is recommended you have 30g of protein for breakfast)
- if something is ‘beige’ in colour, it is probably carbohydrate (vegetables are generally very low calorie)

*using an App like ‘My Fitness Pal’ (which is free) and entering all of your food and exercise (honestly with no cheating!) will really help you to learn what calories you are taking in and when, as well as what nutritional content is in the foods you like.

Many health plans relate to diets but, in just balancing your nutritional intake with your nutritional needs, you can change your body shape and create your ‘new you’… now!

This is the second of a series blog posts from me about emotional wellbeing and achieving balanced nutrition. If you want to get in touch with me, you can do so via my website: www.thelearn2group.org.uk.

Becki Coombe

The Power of the Second Date

A colleague of mine at RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club recently told me how a so-nearly-missed second date heralded a rewarding new relationship for him.

He told me of how, on an RSVP singles walk in Rutland, he met a lady he found chatty, interesting, appealing in so many ways and, above all, spontaneous. Walks provide such fertile ground for relationships to gently form without pressure, as you feel you are just ‘on a walk’ but, in reality, you are constantly walking and talking alongside different attendees. Our RSVP singles walks are very popular with members. We also arrange fantastic walking weekends a couple of times a year.

Eventually, after an appropriate amount of procrastination on the part of my colleague, the lady’s spontaneity won the day and a first date was arranged, which included a dinner. The dinner was…a little disappointing for both parties: conversation was somewhat stilted and matter-of-fact; there were a few awkward silences; there didn’t appear a lot of common ground or interests.

However, he remembered fondly the easy conversation he’d enjoyed on the walk and, feeling that was too good to let go, dived in with a prompt from the RSVP team of expert matchmakers to have second date. Because, after all, what’s the worst that could happen? The lady bravely said ‘yes’, again.

Both arrived at the second date with some trepidation, but this time the rapport was already there; they were relaxed; the conversation sparkled; they laughed, they almost cried, they vowed to do it all again and, afterwards, thanked the friendly RSVP team for the encouragement of a second date!

And that was three months ago. Since then, they have enjoyed many dates and days together, met each other’s families, been on a short holiday and, of course, walked for miles!

All of it so nearly missed, were it not for that magical decisive second date.

The moral of this tale is: even if there’s a flicker of something between you, go for the second date.

To find out more about our singles events, just provide us with a few details and our helpful team will be in touch shortly.