Monday, 13 January 2020

Is my relationship ‘status’: “Pre-Successful”?

This is the final piece in a series of posts commissioned by RSVP from Becki Coombe. When not date-hunting herself, Becki delivers a range of education and training courses. One of Becki’s main areas of interest is teaching people how to provide Mental Health ‘First Aid’ but even more pro-actively encouraging others to recognise and look after their own wellbeing. You can read more about what Becki does at www.thelearn2group.org.uk.

Let’s face it – we all love a label right?! What sex do we identify with, what religion are we and don’t even get me started on whether I am ‘allowed’ to tick the “single” instead of “divorced” box on a form?!!

But on a film I watched recently, I heard the term “pre-successful” being used by someone who was unemployed and I wondered – is this something that I could also lend to my dating situation?...

…so the pros are of course that it may be perceived as a more positive way of saying “yes, I am still single” and it may just baffle someone enough to then not carry on and ask that ridiculous question “how/why are you single”? (You have to have some singles in the world to keep RSVP single events and dating agencies like RSVP running)?! I also like that it infers that there is a successful relationship to come in the future.

…alternatively, there could be an interpretation that not being in a relationship is actually a failure/ being unsuccessful – which is simply not the case.

So even though I am not convinced by my thoughts enough to write to Facebook and ask them to add an additional relationship status category, I have had a moment or two confirm, that the way we perceive things may have an impact on how we choose to live from day-to-day;

- at this time of year for example, many people have made New Years resolutions. Why?!!! Every one of us has the capacity to make choices and changes at any first or middle date of any of the twelve months!

- when people comment that we look nice in something we often quickly reply with ‘oh I’ve had this years/I got it in a sale’. Why?!!! Every one of us can train ourselves to say thank you and acknowledge the personal compliment for exactly what it was!

- when people comment that they don’t meet new people (or dates!), then state that they don’t go to any local/community/advertised activities… why?!!! Every one of us has the capacity to Google local interests and get involved in a way that suits ourselves.

So as a closing comment from me in this series of blog posts about emotional wellbeing and achieving balanced nutrition; who do you want to be, how do you want to feel and how do you want to live – whether you realised it or not, the power is all in your own hands. So take it, cherish it and enjoy it!

If you want to get in touch with me, you can do so via my website: www.thelearn2group.org.uk.

Becki Coombe

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