Don't be a ghost

When it comes to the dating world, the matching team here at dating agency and singles club RSVP likes to keep up with any new and interesting developments. Especially when it comes to new trends and terminology, the way we date is always evolving. Though sometimes not all the changes are good...

RSVP values the privacy of their members, so when we set up a match, we only release the bare minimum of details to start with. Then, if both members are keen to go ahead, we pass telephone numbers in the expectation that they will have a nice telephone conversation followed by a date. This is why the new trend of ‘Ghosting’ is disturbingly destructive.

‘Ghosting’ is when, without any warning, one half of a couple cuts off all contact with the other half and goes into complete radio silence in response to all attempts of contact. A recent article in the Sunday Times Style Magazine points out that friends are also capable of ‘ghosting’ as well. The rumour mill also suggests that Charlize Theron may have done the same to Sean Penn after a year of dating and a potential engagement, so even more long-term (and high profile) relationships are at a risk of ending this way.

In our society where we are so reliant on technology to keep in touch with one another, suddenly cutting your other half off without any explanation is a brutal way to end a relationship. It can be very damaging for anyone’s self-esteem, no matter if it’s a long-term thing or just after a couple of dates. Therefore, RSVP’s expert matching team encourages RSVP members to always be polite even if they do not wish to meet someone again after one or two dates. It is much nicer to send a text or have a gentle phone call explaining that you’ve had a good time but you don’t think you’d like to take it further, than simply ignoring the other person’s efforts at continued contact. After all, nobody ever wants to be on the receiving end of a ‘ghosting’.

A professional match-maker’s take on ‘Married at First Sight’

The recent Channel 4 documentary, ‘Married at First Sight’ was watched with great interest by the professional match-making team at RSVP dating agency and singles club, the dating agency and singles club. We match on a variety of factors that are predictors of long term relationship success, ranging from personality, to shared interests and personal criteria; we found it interesting to watch the panel of experts make matches of a more permanent and arguably dramatic nature and see how the results unfolded.

RSVP members are genuinely single and, when they join, they are looking to commit to a long-term partner. However, chemistry and attraction are hard to scientifically predict, so even if a match appears great on paper, it doesn't mean that the couple will gel when they meet in person. This can also work the other way round with people you would never think of putting together, meeting each other at one of our RSVP exclusive Singles Events and getting on like a house on fire!

Therefore, we had mixed feelings watching the six people meet each other as strangers on their wedding day. The sociologist expert did suggest that the tradition of the marriage would trigger a psychological reflex to bond the couples together, but, of the three couples, only one pair actually made it to the end of the experiment. The other couple who made it down the aisle rode on a wave of adrenaline through the special day; but as soon as it came to an end, they went back to being strangers and clashed on the most basic of things, despite the panel thinking they were a sure-fire match.

This is why we encourage our members to take it slow with their matches, so they can warm up as times goes on. At RSVP, we do all the legwork of finding the match and exchanging the personal profiles of the people but then we suggest that the member send a text first to introduce themselves properly and to find a good time to speak over the phone. Hopefully after the phone conversation, they can set up a meeting. We promote the idea of meeting more than once before making a decision to start ‘dating’. This gives them a chance to get to know each other a little and, even if they are not immediately struck by love at first sight, chemistry and attraction can – and do – grow!

Ashley Madison: Be Careful What You Put Online

Here at RSVP Dating Agency and Singles club, our team of expert matchmakers likes to keep up-to-date with all the recent developments in the world of dating and research into the psychology of looking for love. It was therefore hard to miss the collective sharp intake of breath as hackers threatened to release details of users of Ashley Madison affairs website, including ‘profiles ... secret sexual fantasies ... real names and addresses’.

Whilst we’re unlikely to be condoning affairs as a way to a long and happy relationship, the whole episode provides a salutary reminder of what not to share online. It’s at moments like these that the privacy and protection of offline dating agencies comes to the fore.

RSVP offers members a completely confidential service. Thanks to RSVP's interview and selection process, you can rely on RSVP members being genuinely single. Members can also rely on us keeping their details to ourselves; they’re not published on any websites. We believe that looking for a relationship should be a private, reflective experience, and not something to be shared with all and sundry.

Our message to the millions of genuinely single internet daters out there is simple: if you want to be sure your dating journey will be kept private, trust it to RSVP. Ashley Madison users, regrettably, we’re unlikely to be able to help.

Men: How to make a first impression that gets you noticed

Preparing for a first date can be nerve-racking, but when you join Dating Agency and Singles Club RSVP, there is lots of help at hand. Whilst it’s what's on the inside that counts, first impressions are paramount when meeting a potential partner for the first time and it can be a challenge deciding what to wear! If you really want to wow a lovely lady, taking care about your appearance also shows that you respect her enough to make an effort. As this handy article emphasises, it is important to put some thought into how you present yourself to the woman who very well might turn out to be your life partner. If you expect the lady to make an effort then you should also be willing to do so in return.

Our friendly team of matchmaking experts are always willing to help with advice and tips about how best to impress the lady of your dreams but we also have our Image Coach, Sue Donnelly, on hand if you are after some more professional assistance.

For now, here are a couple of helpful pointers:

• Dress for the occasion – Depending on the choice of date scenario, consider where you’ll be meeting and what you’ll be doing. If you are just meeting for drinks, as a lot of our RSVP Gold and Platinum members do then dressing casually but smart is the way to go. If you are doing something more active like a walk or a cycle ride, then it is best to wear something you can move easily in.
• Be clean and comfortable – You don’t have to wear a DJ for a first date and it is definitely confidence-boosting to wear something that you feel comfortable in but do make sure that your clothes fit well, do not show signs of wear (such as loose frays or marks) and that both you and your clothes are squeaky clean.
• Groom to go – On top of being nice and fresh, it is worth considering being clean-shaven and making sure your hair is neat and trimmed. Statistics show that women prefer clean-shaven men even if TV and films show otherwise. Also, make sure you don’t swim in after-shave as anything too overpowering may keep the lady at a distance – the opposite of what you want!

Now remember, dressing for a first date is important but don’t forget our RSVP Exclusive Singles Events too! You should treat every event you attend like a possible first date, as you never know, the lady of your dreams may also be attending!

A taste of RSVP Summer Singles Events

RSVP's Exclusive Summer Singles Ball on 13 June marked the beginning of a summer filled with lots of brilliant singles events and singles activities to keep RSVP Singles Club members happy and meeting many new single people in relaxed informal situations. With a plethora of lovely country singles walks to take in the sunshine and a host of singles lunches and singles dinners to keep everyone well-fed and watered, we've also included some RSVP Exclusive events - not generally available to the public - to make sure all our singles have lots to keep them entertained this summer.

• If you’re an outdoorsy person who likes to enjoy the warmer weather doing something active and adventurous, then you should become a Tree Ninja for a day! Combining lovely countryside and beautiful views, this event takes in both low and high ropes through the trees and promises to be a lot of fun!
  
• Things are heating up for history buffs, with a guided tour of the War, Plague and Fire exhibition at the Museum of London. Everybody needs a day out of the sun somewhere stimulating, so you can take in this interesting tour, which will surely give everyone who attends lots to talk about (and maybe a topic for Mastermind!)
  
• If the way to your heart is through your stomach or you’re just someone who loves to cook, then check out our Bread and Pizza Cookery course! You will get to try some useful cooking techniques and hopefully woo some taste buds, including your own!
  
• RSVP members looking for singles events in London can also enjoy the last of the longer days as well as a couple of interesting beverages on our Historical Pub Tour. Sate your thirst for knowledge and a cold drink at the same time, as well as making some nice friends in some of the most interesting pubs in London!

If you are interested in booking on to any of these great occasions, call us on 01572 774882 to get started – places won’t be free for long!

The power of positivity

At RSVP Singles Club and dating agency, we know how much time and effort people invest in finding a suitable partner. One big reason people join the RSVP dating agency is to save all that time and effort and have our savvy team of matchmakers do the hard work for them. But some people put all their focus on specifying this yet-to-be-found future partner at the expense of what they might do themselves to improve their chances.

Writer, Anne-Marie Wiesman has suggested a number of ways that you can attract healthier relationships. Her first four points are all about looking internally to make sure that you are ready for a new relationship; she feels that maintaining a positive self-image is key to a happy relationship and this can be nurtured by being prepared to treat yourself well and starting a kind inner-dialogue. Just by linking your idea of self-worth with positives and, most of all, letting go of any mistakes you have made in the past and not blaming yourself for them, you can open up to a new and positive relationship.

The matching team here at RSVP are all experienced in talking about relationships and happy to discuss any worries you might have, to help you build that necessary positive self-image. Platinum Dating PAs are able to really give some insight into romantic scenarios through their extensive knowledge about dating and from their nurturing of their personal relationships with their Platinum members. Additionally, if low self-confidence stems from a lack of self-belief regarding physical appearance, we can also refer you to our, Dating Image Coach Sue Donnelly, author of several books about personal image and how to improve it. Together, we can help you prepare yourself so that you’re ready for when that special someone comes along.

The soul mate quest

Here at dating agency and soulmate finders RSVP, we think everyone deserves that chance to find someone special. Our dedicated matching team and Platinum Dating PAs work night and day providing opportunities for RSVP members to meet other eligible singles, with the hope that one of them may be what is classically called ‘the one’.

Now, we realise that a lot of people have a very specific idea of what they’re looking for in a partner and sometimes find it hard to stay open-minded. We have learned through our many years of accumulated match-making experience that “the one” is rarely a carbon copy of the person someone has in their mind; instead, he/she is a living, breathing person with strengths and weaknesses, just like their own.

An article at The Power of Positivity says that the main signs you have found your soul mate are that they are supportive and share similar values and morals. Sharing those fundamental values – such as attitudes on family and finances – are much more important predictors of having found your soul mate than having a couple of hobbies in common. You may find that if your partner enjoys watching Rugby while you are more of a Wimbledon fan, you end up supporting each other and enjoying two different activities. One of the aspects of dating that some people find equally daunting and enjoyable is that you are often exposed to different interests; you never know, you may find that you start to enjoy something new!

The RSVP matching team are always on hand to offer advice about dating and a supportive word when our members need it. The quest for a soul mate can be a difficult one, but if positivity and open-mindedness are at the fore-front, it’s a quest with a high success rate.