Behind the scenes at the RSVP Winter Ball...

We all have our own expectations of our Mr or Ms Right. But who we fall for could be the complete opposite of what we initially expected. Here at RSVP dating agency and singles club, we looked at the results from our singles ball in Northamptonshire and found that people who had specified criteria that meant we wouldn't match them, actually coupled off at our Winter Ball. We know what you're thinking "How could I possibly match with someone that doesn't meet my criteria?". But we've seen it happen right before our eyes at our amazing singles events.

Our professional Matching Team found that people they wouldn't have matched due to their criteria, were actually attracted to one another.

We all search for people who match the perfect person we have made up in our heads, based on criteria we've created or what we have experienced. For instance, if one of your ex-es had a really annoying voice, you would try and find someone without that annoying voice. Or if one of your ex-es had really bad table manners, we search for someone with a good table etiquette. It's only natural to try and imagine this perfect someone to avoid everything that we have experienced and didn't enjoy.

Do we settle for people just because they match our criteria though? We've all had people in our lives that we (at the time) thought were most compatible. Imagine someone that fitted our height/weight/10 miles from my house/no annoying voice criteria. Yes! Perfect! I hear you say... But they haven't got things that we hadn't first thought of, such as a good sense of humour, the ability to make you laugh or the fact that you may get on really well with their children.

People at the ball who we may have never put together based on their criteria, actually did get on really well or exchange numbers! Sometimes we have to remember that we are only human, we can't stop appreciating people for all the beautiful qualities that they do possess. We had people asking us to change their criteria, we had members go on hold with other members whom they had excluded as a potential match due to their criteria, but, they found chemistry with one another.

The real learning point is that the shopping list of requirements you spent so long putting together may actually be preventing you meeting the perfect partner, because each time you specify something - no-one with beards; no-one with children, you name it - you exclude everyone with those characteristics, which in truth may not be that important. Give your matches a chance, make the call, go for a coffee; you never know what the outcome could be.

Finding love in Autumn

The bitter cold weather is coming, we are digging out our woolly jumpers and the leaves on the trees are changing colour. This can only mean one thing; Autumn is coming, and it's coming quickly.

Here at singles club and dating agency RSVP, we think that autumn is a perfect time of year to meet someone new, maybe at one of our singles events or through one of our hand-selected matches.

Coffee dates make classical first date options, and it means you will warm up in the mean time. It's less pressure than an intimate dinner, and depending on whether you fancy your match, you can make the date as long or short as you like! They are also a great way to meet people; everyone can chat over a coffee and a cheeky slice of cake. We hold coffee mornings regularly, meaning you don't even have to arrange your coffee dates; as always, RSVP's team of experts do the hard work for you. All you need to do is turn up and meet some new people.

Autumn has the best activities that you could do in pairs. Breaking the ice gently with things such as apple picking, carving a pumpkin, Halloween parties and not forgetting the classic stroll in the park with that special someone - perfect timing to lean in just that little bit closer, or wear their jacket when you need it. I can hear the crispy leaves under your feet now!

You are more likely to fall in love in autumn, due to your attitude changing as well as the seasons! In the summer, most of us like to kick back and have some fun. But once autumn comes around we all mature a little again and become somewhat more serious. More people get into relationships or become engaged in the autumn months.

The holidays are nearing. After you've finished taking down your Halloween decorations, you're more anxious to pair up with someone ready for Christmas and New Year. At the end of the day, who wants to be alone for the holidays? You could even book onto our events around Christmas time such as a Mix & Mingle or come along to our New Year's Even Gala Ball! Like I said, no one wants to be on their own during these joyous times.

So, what are you waiting for? Grab your woollies and get out there! Enjoy a coffee with that special someone or help another with their apple picking - you could even get a crumble out of it. What have you got to lose?

Call me today on 01572 774884 - or fill in the contact form here - and we'll get things started.

Is there still a place for romance?

Lucy Worsley on Romance, copyright BBC

In her recent BBC documentary series "A Very British Romance", Lucy Worsley has treated us to details of romance in times past. But is there still a place for romance in the modern world of Tinder and the like?

Well, maybe. Here at dating agency RSVP, we still have plenty of romantics on our books, looking not just for love, but for the romance that goes with it.

In days gone by, men used to write poems in order to impress the ladies, using descriptive words such as 'blushing' or 'quivering' in order to make the women understand how they were feeling.

Here at RSVP, our members have moved with the times but managed to keep some of that traditional romance too. That ‘Good Morning’ text is far from just a good morning text – it’s thought of as the quickest way to let someone special know that, even across the miles, you are thinking of them. Similarly, a ‘Goodnight’ text is considered an intimate way of saying 'you're my last thought of the day'. 

Sometimes romance is getting an extra 'x' on a text message, making someone feel that little bit more special even when you're not at each others side.

I recall a phone call from a lovely gentleman - a Platinum RSVP member - who wanted to think out of the box; he didn’t want to make his third date the same as any other - a nice restaurant for a good meal, bunches of flowers or chocolates; he wanted to be the one who stood out from the rest, so with the help of one of our expert matchmakers, his next date, was a ‘Mystery tour’; they jumped in to his car with no plans except to drive for no more than one hour taking unknown roads until they spotted some place that took their fancy, chattering excitedly along the way, getting to know each other.

Another of our ladies called to tell us that, from the first call, she knew that the man we had matched her with was different, although the plan for the first date sounded normal enough - drinks; that turned in to a meal when neither wanted to part company so soon. The second date was a stroll around a stately home and gardens, where he surprised her with a home-made picnic - featuring Prosecco, champagne flutes and poached salmon - not a sausage roll in sight. 

Romance is action. Characterising people by their actions means we will never be fooled by their words. However, when feelings are mutual, the effort will be equalised; so, ladies, remembering to ask him how his day went goes a long way.

Dressing up to go out is an important aspect of romance for many RSVP members when they head out on RSVP singles events. Many will go to extra effort and get glammed up for our singles ball in Northamptonshire, this weekend.

So, in our view romance is still very much alive - it just takes a little effort - as it always did, in fact.

The science behind why love can enhance your senses

Love is a weird and wonderful thing, as we often consider, here at RSVP dating agency and singles club.

We are all actively seeking love, motivated by the wanting and the craving. Why? You ask. Because love is what makes the world 'go round'.

There is more to it than meets the eye. Love is the fundamental source of our bodily power. It is the human species equivalent to a super power - the closest you and I will ever get to being Batman or Superman!

Think about the last time you felt love, maybe with a significant other or your cat. When you look around you - everything seems to be in HD, colours are brighter, sounds are clearer, things you used to struggle with are no longer a struggle. When you have love in your life, you are a stronger you, the most amazing you that you can be.

And it's not all in your head! There are justifiable, scientifically backed answers for all of these ways that your senses become enhanced when you are in love.

Serotonin is a chemical in which we make in our brain. It is the voice of calm and helps ease anxiety. Although when you are in love, your levels of serotonin drop - which then makes you think more clearly and promptly. Which is why when we are in love, we can recall every single thing - from the sound of their voice or they way they hold your hand on the walk home.

Love banishes the negative Nancy in our heads. When dating someone, you tend to focus on the things that make them 'oh so great'. 

Your hearing naturally enhances because your brain is extra focused on your surroundings. It is your mind wanting to replay every last thing in which you are experiencing so that you can save it and think about it later.

As we said before, love can make you feel quite literally superhuman. Say hello to dopamine. Dopamine is what makes the feeling of love become your new addiction. It allows you to face your day to day worries with a positive you, rather than an anxious you.

So, science, you have wowed us with your powers. And, particularly, the Power of Love.

You could be the next one to experience your life in High Definition.With the help from our friendly team of matchmaking experts here at RSVP, you could be on your journey to feeling more like Batman or Superman.

Autumn singles events from RSVP

Why not brighten up the darkening Autumn days by attending one of our many RSVP singles events with the launch of our new calendar?

We have a vast range of events available in our new singles events calendar catering to a wide range of interests. From a tour of the Birmingham jewellery museum or a Ghosts and Treasures tour of The Tower Of London; right through to an Aerotow Launch or Space Flight adventure for the more daring!


The usual collection of Singles Dinners, Mix and Mingles and Singles Walks are also available to our members in a range of welcoming locations. Not forgetting our Exclusive RSVP Winter Singles Ball in Northamptonshire where we will be returning to the fabulous Highgate House for an evening of sophisticated glamour and dancing. You can even book on to our Pre-Ball Mix and Mingle Dance Lessons where professional dance tutors will show you the moves to impress!

As Christmas fast approaches why not get in the festive mood with a fun session of Tobogganing on real snow? After this fun adrenaline filled event, relax and enjoy lunch with a beer or glass of wine. You will even take home an Action Photo so you can remember this fun-filled day.


Or how about finishing the year in style at our New Year's Eve Gala Ball - another of our singles events in Warwickshire, arriving to a glass of sparkling wine and enjoying a delicious 4 course meal with wine all whilst enjoying the company of fellow RSVP members? With a live band and accommodation included, this black tie event is not to be missed!

If not already a member, join now and you too could be enjoying the benefits of our RSVP exclusive events and all the other brilliant hosted singles events and activities. Don't miss out on these fantastic singles events this Autumn!

Don't be a ghost

When it comes to the dating world, the matching team here at dating agency and singles club RSVP likes to keep up with any new and interesting developments. Especially when it comes to new trends and terminology, the way we date is always evolving. Though sometimes not all the changes are good...

RSVP values the privacy of their members, so when we set up a match, we only release the bare minimum of details to start with. Then, if both members are keen to go ahead, we pass telephone numbers in the expectation that they will have a nice telephone conversation followed by a date. This is why the new trend of ‘Ghosting’ is disturbingly destructive.

‘Ghosting’ is when, without any warning, one half of a couple cuts off all contact with the other half and goes into complete radio silence in response to all attempts of contact. A recent article in the Sunday Times Style Magazine points out that friends are also capable of ‘ghosting’ as well. The rumour mill also suggests that Charlize Theron may have done the same to Sean Penn after a year of dating and a potential engagement, so even more long-term (and high profile) relationships are at a risk of ending this way.

In our society where we are so reliant on technology to keep in touch with one another, suddenly cutting your other half off without any explanation is a brutal way to end a relationship. It can be very damaging for anyone’s self-esteem, no matter if it’s a long-term thing or just after a couple of dates. Therefore, RSVP’s expert matching team encourages RSVP members to always be polite even if they do not wish to meet someone again after one or two dates. It is much nicer to send a text or have a gentle phone call explaining that you’ve had a good time but you don’t think you’d like to take it further, than simply ignoring the other person’s efforts at continued contact. After all, nobody ever wants to be on the receiving end of a ‘ghosting’.

A professional match-maker’s take on ‘Married at First Sight’

The recent Channel 4 documentary, ‘Married at First Sight’ was watched with great interest by the professional match-making team at RSVP dating agency and singles club, the dating agency and singles club. We match on a variety of factors that are predictors of long term relationship success, ranging from personality, to shared interests and personal criteria; we found it interesting to watch the panel of experts make matches of a more permanent and arguably dramatic nature and see how the results unfolded.

RSVP members are genuinely single and, when they join, they are looking to commit to a long-term partner. However, chemistry and attraction are hard to scientifically predict, so even if a match appears great on paper, it doesn't mean that the couple will gel when they meet in person. This can also work the other way round with people you would never think of putting together, meeting each other at one of our RSVP exclusive Singles Events and getting on like a house on fire!

Therefore, we had mixed feelings watching the six people meet each other as strangers on their wedding day. The sociologist expert did suggest that the tradition of the marriage would trigger a psychological reflex to bond the couples together, but, of the three couples, only one pair actually made it to the end of the experiment. The other couple who made it down the aisle rode on a wave of adrenaline through the special day; but as soon as it came to an end, they went back to being strangers and clashed on the most basic of things, despite the panel thinking they were a sure-fire match.

This is why we encourage our members to take it slow with their matches, so they can warm up as times goes on. At RSVP, we do all the legwork of finding the match and exchanging the personal profiles of the people but then we suggest that the member send a text first to introduce themselves properly and to find a good time to speak over the phone. Hopefully after the phone conversation, they can set up a meeting. We promote the idea of meeting more than once before making a decision to start ‘dating’. This gives them a chance to get to know each other a little and, even if they are not immediately struck by love at first sight, chemistry and attraction can – and do – grow!