How to compliment a lady

Travelling to the Burlington Hotel in Birmingham today to meet some Birmingham Singles looking to join RSVP, I was very happy to receive a compliment from a guy on the train. It really made me smile and it brightened my day. So, for the rest of the journey I was left pondering on the best way to deliver a pleasant compliment to a lady. It's a problem often put to RSVP's dating coach, Stephanie Robinson.

Of course, we all know men and women's brains are wired differently and what seems like a perfectly logical compliment from the guy's point of view can quickly turn sour when interpreted by the lady. So what is a man to do? How is he ever meant to get it right?

Well, a recent survey by a health care provider has suggested that one of best, sure-fire ways to compliment a lady is by making a comment that suggests that she has lost weight. I have to say, I agree wholeheartedly with this, if it comes from someone I know. A simple "you're looking very trim in that outfit" would definitely lift my day. However, be warned; avoid saying that a lady "looks well". It is a comment that I have heard more than once and I immediately think you are saying "you've put a bit of weight on". And the survey suggests that I am not the only one here - so be warned!

Another safe bet could be to make a positive comment about how they are looking - for example you could say that you like their smile or eyes. Although don't do what my husband did when he first met me and ask if they are wearing coloured contact lenses. I am sure he was well-meaning, but I wasn't impressed! Other sage areas for you to try could include mentioning the colours they are wearing or the outfit they have chosen. At the end of the day, we like to know that we are looking good today and made the right choices about what to wear!

Looking at a recent Yahoo survey, the best compliment voted on by their readers was "Are your feet sore, because you have been running through my mind all night". A great line, but I'd say this was a pretty risky strategy. I know that a man who makes you laugh can be very attractive, but you don't want to be labelled as a "player" used to delivering slick and insincere comments to lots of ladies. And you are definitely not being funny when you say "You are not as stupid as you look" - but I know you wouldn't say that, would you?

Having said all of this and made you feel nervous about saying anything to me when we meet, I must say that the best advice I can give the men out there is not to be put off from making a compliment just in case you get it wrong. When someone else tells you that you look good, it can do wonders for your self confidence and always makes you smile. Just take a second to think about what you are going to say first - and how it could be interpreted - before you actually say it! It might be logical to you - but will it come across that way?

Why use a Professional Matchmaking Agency?

These days there are lots of different ways to find yourself a partner, so why should you use a matchmaker when this can be seen by some as a traditional, somewhat old-fashioned route to meeting people? In this internet age, it can seem an odd decision to liberate yourself from your pc and talk to a matchmaker about the type of person you are looking for, but there are some real benefits in shutting off your laptop and taking the time to talk to the professionals at a reputable dating agency. Here are just some of the many reasons why:

Experience and knowledge

Professional matchmakers are experts in the field of helping people find partners. They get to know you on a one-on-one basis and are then able to guide you through the process of finding the right relationship for you. They can then make recommendations for introductions to you based on:
- the criteria you have stated
- your own personality
- what you are looking for in a partner long term
Matchmakers make it is their business to get to know you: your wants, needs and desires.

Privacy

Your matchmaker will only introduce you to the sorts of people you are likely to be interested in. They will not release your contact information or photo to anyone without your permission. By using a matchmaker no one, your boss or colleagues at work, your ex, or your family members, will know you are looking for a partner unless, of course, you tell them.

Safety

No one wants to meet a perfect stranger. Your matchmaker has spoken with, met and checked the i.d. of everyone you are introduced to. Because of this, you can explore romance without fear or worry. It also means that you can avoid the need for corny chat up lines in bars or at the gym.  And of course you also have the benefit of knowing that the person you are meeting is actually looking for the same thing as you!

Focused and tailored for you

Your matchmaker gets to know you and bases your introductions on your personality, lifestyle, likes, dislikes and values.  Remember, it’s an iterative process, they will also build up a picture of what you are looking for as you provide feedback after each meeting.  In this way, they get to know you and understand exactly who will be a suitable match.

Saving You Time

You don't have to spend countless hours browsing thousands of online profiles, writing dozens of introduction e-mails, allowing you to save your energy for the actual date.

Independent Profiles

Dating profiles are written by the adviser that has met with you at your introductory meeting.  This means that you know all the profiles you see have been written by a third party and are based on what the adviser saw when they met them in person.  A good matchmaker will also be able to flesh out the profile for you based on what they have got to know about your introduction since they joined. The added benefit is that you don’t need to try and think how to best portray yourself, you can let someone else do that for you.

Everybody is single!

It’s where all the serious professional people are going to find a partner, so it makes sense to head to the same place yourself!

Avoid the games

People who use a matchmaking service want to find a partner and are serious enough to have paid a professional to help them do that. Just think: no more second guessing or wasting your time with game players – you can meet other like-minded singles who are interested in a relationship

A final reality check

But remember, matchmakers aren’t miracle workers and they cannot make something that doesn’t exist. There’s a difference between looking for the partner of your dreams and living in a dream world. At the end of the day, a matchmaker can only introduce you to some great people who you are likely to feel a connection with, they cannot make the chemistry happen for you.

This means that you won’t always find love with the first match you meet, or possibly even the sixth, although many do find love on the first date!

Joining an agency is about being in the right place at the right time – if you aren’t on the books when Mr or Mrs Right comes along you can’t be there to meet them!

Gents, get the most from RSVP membership

Our very supportive member and excellent singles events host Russell H recently put together some tips to help RSVP gents get the most from their RSVP dating memberships and singles events membership. He was lamenting the fact that men don't get the most from their membership because they don't make the best of the singles events. I'm sure he'll forgive me for paraphrasing somewhat, but Russell's top tips are:

1. Guys, the idea of RSVP events is to meet women. So, if you want to meet lots of women, go to some events!
2. If you meet someone who appeals to you, talk to them and exchange details - you're not just there for the food/beer/activity. It won't happen every time, but relax, it only takes one. And you'll feel great in a week or two's time when you get a call or text from the lady you chatted to that night.
3. It'll also be worthwhile exchanging numbers with any guys you get on with, as it's useful to share the driving and agree which events you'll go to.
4. As a fully paid-up member, you are already paying for events, so it makes sense to go to some.
5. Women book earlier than men, so, to balance things out, RSVP will put women on a waiting list. If you book early enough, another lady can come too.
6. If you're worried about whether there will be people of your age - there probably will - call the office and they'll let you know. Or why not ask them for their best recommendation for an event for you?
7. Try something new - there are loads of activities and the like - so you'll have interesting tales to relate on your next date/event. Flow-riding anyone?
8. Meet your introduction at an event. If you're a Gold/Platinum member wondering where to meet your next introduction, you've 150 ideas in the latest calendar. Plus, that way, if you don't hit it off, there'll be plenty of others there to talk to.
9. We all know that guys don't like to plan too far ahead. (Still not sure why, mind you). But, keep in mind that, in life, it's the planners who reap the rewards. Coincidences, whilst delightful when they happen, are few and far between. 

I'll let you think on that last one and consider its merits.