Paying your own way?

A recent article in the Daily Mail discussed the issue of ‘who should pay for dinner on a first date?’.

As a Dating PA for RSVP’s Platinum introduction agency service, it’s an issue that is a bugbear of mine and a question I’m asked frequently. This sparked a mini discussion in my house, when I asked the question of my children ‘who should pay for dinner?’, they immediately said in unison ‘the man’; when questioned, my 13 year old son said ‘it’s just good manners’, my 11 year old son said ‘it’s chivalrous’ and my 9 year old daughter said quite simply ‘he is the man’!

Now as a professional Matchmaker, I wholeheartedly believe a FIRST dinner date should be split. Of course the rules may change after the first date. Yet, I find it surprising – and slightly depressing – that a study of 416 men and women reveals that both men and women who think they are attractive feel they quite literally bring more to the table and therefore the less attractive of the duo should be paying for the privilege of dining with them.

Interestingly, an attractive male will relent slightly and pick up the tab, if he wants to impress; if he pays he is inferring that he wants another date. An attractive woman, on the other hand, will allow and expect the man to pay, even if she is interested; this to her means that he has already invested in a future with her.

So does this mean that the less ‘naturally’ attractive among us should always foot the bill? Surely if you take pride in your appearance you have brought the same to the table. Should attractiveness trump manners?

Here at RSVP we aim to provide matches based on the characteristics of long-term relationship success – which is about more than how two people look, so we recommend that you always take your purse or wallet to dinner!

8 Steps to online love

Dating Fraud, has recently become media fodder for a number of valid reasons, which I am sure you have all read about. RSVP dating agency and singles club can help you avoid this, so although I could re-hash the details of the recent coverage, I find myself pondering, if digging into the whys and what ifs will benefit us in any way? After all, it’s already happened to many people and, surprisingly, according to a recent article in the Daily Mail’s You magazine, has increased by 16 percent in 2014-15 with recorded losses of more that £33 million.

 

We live in a world where Health and Safety has gone mad, where we need insurance policies to cover our insurance policies. MOTs to make sure our cars are roadworthy – I remember when we didn’t even have seat belts – so how can we take steps to prevent this number increasing? 

 

So here I am Friday night, sitting on the sofa with my meal for one (well, officially, for two, but of course the portions are stingy) lounge trousers and a t-shirt on (same one I’ve worn all week), beer in hand, flicking through the TV channels – nothing on again. So, I thumb through You magazine and spot ‘Beware your online soul mate’.

 

So am I just being taught to suck eggs?

 

I have given some thought to the sequence of eight steps that You magazine claim fraudsters use to hook you; I can relate to these:

 

1. SELECTING A TARGET – Looking for a profile that contains honest/trustworthy.
2. GAINING SYMPATHY- They have been through so much, yet they are a fighter and they have trusted me enough to tell me.
3. ACCEPTING MY BAGGAGE – I have children and I sustained a leg injury at work, so I sometimes limp; she doesn’t mind.
4. CHANGING MY HABITS – I rush home to talk to her, change plans with friends.
5. MIRRORING – She watches the same things on TV and has the same interests, some are newly discovered so I am helping her explore.
6. CUTTING ME OFF – We have to keep this low key for now, she is so fragile from her past and she is trusting me.
7. TAKING ME OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE –She sent me nude photos; I returned the favour, as she was so sweet and really wanted them, but now I can’t upset her; she has naked photos.
8. BUILDING A DREAM – All she needs to do is get some money together to move closer; she is working a few jobs; she is so tired, but we have everything planned. She just needs that extra bit of help from me financially and it will speed it all up.

 

With the matchmaking service provided by RSVP, we take care of steps 1 and 2 automatically; step 3 is also taken care of by the professional matchmaking team. The remaining steps that hook you in can still happen, if you have a black and white thinking style; however the matchmaking team are always at the end of the phone to help and flag up any warning signs – a safety net, so to speak. Of course, knowing that every RSVP member has been met by one of our expert Dating Consultants – so they really are who we say they are – and that all members have paid a registration fee, means your chances of bumping into a fraudster through RSVP are so tiny as to be negligible.

 

Join RSVP and date safely.