The Matchmaker's Blog from RSVP lifts the lid on the activity in a busy UK professional dating agency / introduction agency and singles club, including tips and advice, book reviews, singles events reports, thoughts and reflections.
Thursday, 12 May 2016
Paying your own way?
A recent article in the Daily Mail discussed the issue of ‘who should pay for dinner on a first date?’.
As a Dating PA for RSVP’s Platinum introduction agency service, it’s an issue that is a bugbear of mine and a question I’m asked frequently.
This sparked a mini discussion in my house, when I asked the question of my children ‘who should pay for dinner?’, they immediately said in unison ‘the man’; when questioned, my 13 year old son said ‘it’s just good manners’, my 11 year old son said ‘it’s chivalrous’ and my 9 year old daughter said quite simply ‘he is the man’!
Now as a professional Matchmaker, I wholeheartedly believe a FIRST dinner date should be split. Of course the rules may change after the first date.
Yet, I find it surprising – and slightly depressing – that a study of 416 men and women reveals that both men and women who think they are attractive feel they quite literally bring more to the table and therefore the less attractive of the duo should be paying for the privilege of dining with them.
Interestingly, an attractive male will relent slightly and pick up the tab, if he wants to impress; if he pays he is inferring that he wants another date. An attractive woman, on the other hand, will allow and expect the man to pay, even if she is interested; this to her means that he has already invested in a future with her.
So does this mean that the less ‘naturally’ attractive among us should always foot the bill? Surely if you take pride in your appearance you have brought the same to the table. Should attractiveness trump manners?
Here at RSVP we aim to provide matches based on the characteristics of long-term relationship success – which is about more than how two people look, so we recommend that you always take your purse or wallet to dinner!