Wednesday, 4 July 2018

Eight More Things I Have Learnt Will Help You Find Love

Following on from my previous post about 6 things I have learnt about love from my year at working at RSVP dating agency head office, here are a further 8 things I have learnt that will improve your chances of meeting the right person.

1) Don’t put too much importance on one date with someone; think of it as just a date or a meeting. Over-thinking things or letting your imagination run away with you is never going to be helpful. If the date doesn’t go well, don’t stop and replay it in your head; move on to the next one.

2) Do dress up and make an effort on dates. When our Dating Consultants meet prospective RSVP members, we hear them say that they are fed up of the other party not putting the effort in any more. I am not saying you need to dress up to the nines, but it is common sense to look clean and presentable on dates. Leave football shirts, trainers, scruffy jeans and dirty clothes in the wardrobe, along with that cliche 'they'll have to love me for what I am'.

3) Relax. Nerves are normal, particularly on your first date or first singles event. Just remember, RSVP is a traditional matchmaking agency; this is not online dating! All of our members have been met by our Dating Consultants and everyone is who we say they are, without exception. At RSVP, we suggest considering different activities for a date, not just the typical drinks at the pub. Our RSVP single events are a less nerve-wracking way of new meeting people, eg. guided tours, walks, dinners, adrenalin activities.
4) If in doubt after a first date, go on a second date. A first date may feel tough and nerves can get in the way. At a second date, you can relax and get to know each other better and this may help you decide whether to take it further. Two RSVP members who have recently got together are very grateful that we encouraged them to have a second date, despite having reservations after the first. 

5) At RSVP, we write bespoke profiles for all of our Gold and Platinum members. These are based what our experienced dating consultant learned about you at your meeting before joining. Trust us on this. We really are the experts on knowing exactly what to say in order to optimise your chances of generating lots of matches. We'll encourage you to resist putting in obscure details and references or strong opinions that others might not understand; it's so easy unknowingly to put off potential matches. Unfortunately we have seen this happen on a couple of occasions, when otherwise it could have been a perfect match.

6) You don't have to have identical hobbies and interests to be a great match. Of course, it is good to have common ground, but you don't have to both like skiing or musicals for it to be a good introduction. To me, and I am sure to many others, what is more important is if the same things make you laugh, if you have the same family values or that you are on the same page emotionally.

7) Make friends at RSVP. I have seen so many friendships formed with different RSVP members at RSVP singles events, which is great. Occasionally we hear things along the lines of ‘I already have friends, so I don’t want to go to events if there isn’t someone for me’. I disagree with this:

  • Firstly, you might find someone at RSVP singles events who you are attracted to unexpectedly.
  • Secondly, you could make friends with other members at events; you can never have too many friends! Within new friendship circles, you can get introduced to a wider audience. 
  • Thirdly, some food for thought: a lady joined us who made a female friend at an RSVP singles dinner. She was invited to her birthday BBQ. There she was introduced to Birthday Girl’s brother. They are now married! 

8) Be open to trying new things and different places. Whilst it may be daunting at first, if you are single and looking for a partner, now is the time to break out of a rut and try something new. Opening doors to new experiences, hobbies or opinions outside your bubble will, without doubt, increase your chances of meeting someone new.

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