In or Out the Dating version

I remember a time when being an inny or an outty referred to your belly button; gosh, how times change.

 

Today my question refers to the online dating community.

 

A Good Morning Britain investigation has revealed one in ten women have felt physically or verbally attacked after meeting someone online, with one in four receiving explicit messages within three minutes of chatting.

 

We all profess to err on the side of caution; we know what we should do; however, does that stop us doing what we want to do?

 

Here at RSVP dating agency and singles club, we take care of the ‘should do’ side of it for you; we meet every single member face to face. As for explicit messages, they’re not really a problem in RSVP. Whatever happens, it’s nice to know that one of our team are always there to listen and advise confidentially on the best course of action.

 

Ninety-eight percent of women said  they’d always organise a first date in public, to stay safe. But in a fifth of cases, they changed their mind and they met at someone’s home instead. In a third of cases the women said they’d gone back to a private home after a first date.

 

So, as women, why do we change our minds last minute? Maybe it boils down to the quest for instant gratification that we all suffer from, from time to time. We are constantly told in for a penny in for a pound; we both know we are interested, so why not jump in?

 

I personally believe that slow and steady wins the race. A great way to stay safe is to arrange a first meeting at a pre-organised singles event, for example one of RSVP’s mix and mingles, where, if you don’t hit it off, you have an easy escape route.

 

Just remember ladies, our behaviour influences others. I am definitely an ‘outty’ (on this subject, at least).

 

 

 

 

What's your biggest fear?

What's your biggest fear? One of mine is spiders. So how do you overcome your fears? I trained my 2 boys not to be scared and to safely catch them and pop them back outside (while I hide in another room doing the good old spider dance).

 

Here at RSVP dating agencyand singles club, the most common fears I hear are:

• Fear of the unknown,
• Fear of getting back in to the dating game
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of attending a first RSVP singles event.

 

Bizarrely, one of RSVP’s team of matchmaking experts recently overcame her fear of cows. Yes, cows. She marched through a whole field of the mooing creatures while on an RSVP singles walk in Lincolnshire, organised by our events team at head quarters. Huge well done!

 

This sparked a conversation with an RSVP member of ours, attending the same RSVP singles event and supporting her, who recently overcame his fear of flying by attending an RSVP helicopter lesson singles activity.

 

The singles walk (followed by a Sunday lunch) was actually being hosted by a first time host, another fear smashed that day.

 

So, next time you find yourself wondering if you should attend that first RSVP singles event, you start to feel the sweaty palms or the faster heartbeat, just remember we are all conquering fears that others may be unaware of. All RSVP singles events are hosted and the host is there to help everyone overcome those fears and have a fun time.

 

On that first date, take away the second guessing and pick up the phone to one of our

friendly team of matchmaking experts at RSVP to talk it through; after all, our fears can be managed if not conquered.

 

 

Paying your own way?

A recent article in the Daily Mail discussed the issue of ‘who should pay for dinner on a first date?’.

As a Dating PA for RSVP’s Platinum introduction agency service, it’s an issue that is a bugbear of mine and a question I’m asked frequently. This sparked a mini discussion in my house, when I asked the question of my children ‘who should pay for dinner?’, they immediately said in unison ‘the man’; when questioned, my 13 year old son said ‘it’s just good manners’, my 11 year old son said ‘it’s chivalrous’ and my 9 year old daughter said quite simply ‘he is the man’!

Now as a professional Matchmaker, I wholeheartedly believe a FIRST dinner date should be split. Of course the rules may change after the first date. Yet, I find it surprising – and slightly depressing – that a study of 416 men and women reveals that both men and women who think they are attractive feel they quite literally bring more to the table and therefore the less attractive of the duo should be paying for the privilege of dining with them.

Interestingly, an attractive male will relent slightly and pick up the tab, if he wants to impress; if he pays he is inferring that he wants another date. An attractive woman, on the other hand, will allow and expect the man to pay, even if she is interested; this to her means that he has already invested in a future with her.

So does this mean that the less ‘naturally’ attractive among us should always foot the bill? Surely if you take pride in your appearance you have brought the same to the table. Should attractiveness trump manners?

Here at RSVP we aim to provide matches based on the characteristics of long-term relationship success – which is about more than how two people look, so we recommend that you always take your purse or wallet to dinner!

8 Steps to online love

Dating Fraud, has recently become media fodder for a number of valid reasons, which I am sure you have all read about. RSVP dating agency and singles club can help you avoid this, so although I could re-hash the details of the recent coverage, I find myself pondering, if digging into the whys and what ifs will benefit us in any way? After all, it’s already happened to many people and, surprisingly, according to a recent article in the Daily Mail’s You magazine, has increased by 16 percent in 2014-15 with recorded losses of more that £33 million.

 

We live in a world where Health and Safety has gone mad, where we need insurance policies to cover our insurance policies. MOTs to make sure our cars are roadworthy – I remember when we didn’t even have seat belts – so how can we take steps to prevent this number increasing? 

 

So here I am Friday night, sitting on the sofa with my meal for one (well, officially, for two, but of course the portions are stingy) lounge trousers and a t-shirt on (same one I’ve worn all week), beer in hand, flicking through the TV channels – nothing on again. So, I thumb through You magazine and spot ‘Beware your online soul mate’.

 

So am I just being taught to suck eggs?

 

I have given some thought to the sequence of eight steps that You magazine claim fraudsters use to hook you; I can relate to these:

 

1. SELECTING A TARGET – Looking for a profile that contains honest/trustworthy.
2. GAINING SYMPATHY- They have been through so much, yet they are a fighter and they have trusted me enough to tell me.
3. ACCEPTING MY BAGGAGE – I have children and I sustained a leg injury at work, so I sometimes limp; she doesn’t mind.
4. CHANGING MY HABITS – I rush home to talk to her, change plans with friends.
5. MIRRORING – She watches the same things on TV and has the same interests, some are newly discovered so I am helping her explore.
6. CUTTING ME OFF – We have to keep this low key for now, she is so fragile from her past and she is trusting me.
7. TAKING ME OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE –She sent me nude photos; I returned the favour, as she was so sweet and really wanted them, but now I can’t upset her; she has naked photos.
8. BUILDING A DREAM – All she needs to do is get some money together to move closer; she is working a few jobs; she is so tired, but we have everything planned. She just needs that extra bit of help from me financially and it will speed it all up.

 

With the matchmaking service provided by RSVP, we take care of steps 1 and 2 automatically; step 3 is also taken care of by the professional matchmaking team. The remaining steps that hook you in can still happen, if you have a black and white thinking style; however the matchmaking team are always at the end of the phone to help and flag up any warning signs – a safety net, so to speak. Of course, knowing that every RSVP member has been met by one of our expert Dating Consultants – so they really are who we say they are – and that all members have paid a registration fee, means your chances of bumping into a fraudster through RSVP are so tiny as to be negligible.

 

Join RSVP and date safely.

Stranger Danger - staying safe online dating

It’s scary out there in the world of online dating. But here at RSVP singles club and dating agency, we are able to offer a safety net. 

 

Think back to your childhood for a minute; what message was instilled into you, by your parents, grandparents and teachers at school? 

 

STRANGER DANGER. 

 

With the advent of the internet, has this message managed to become a little confusing to us all? So we are not supposed to talk to strangers, take sweets, follow them to their cars to look at cute Kittens or Puppies, but we can talk to anyone on the internet? Is that safe? Well, what harm will it do? They can’t even see me. I mean Strangers are only friends that we haven’t met yet, right? If we don’t take a risk we wouldn’t have any friends or relationships.

 

I’m a sensible man, successful career, been there, done that, seen it all, I understand the 6 Ps -

• Prior
• Preparation
• Prevents
• P*ss
• Poor
• Performance

 

So what is the attraction? Simple: it’s the instant gratification that we feel when chatting online. Maybe we need to slow down and believe that we can’t rush something that we expect to last forever. 

 

We all think it won’t happen to me and internet dating works for many; in no way am I suggesting it doesn’t, however I hope I have given you food for thought... 

 

Take a peek at your own online profile – does it need an MOT or a few safety checks? Are you flaunting your wealth? Is the attractive young woman who’s messaging you absolutely stunning – and perhaps more so that you could reasonably expect in a partner? Is it all too good to be true? 

 

Happy Dating.

Is internet dating 'the darkest alley of them all'?

If you're dating, you can't have missed coverage of the trial and conviction of Jason Lawrance who was found guilty of raping five women he met on match.com. He has been sentenced to life imprisonment.

The Daily Mail reports Alan Charles, Derbyshire's Police & Crime Commissioner, as saying: 'Personal safety advice used to incorporate avoiding walking alone down dark alleys at night, but the internet can be the darkest alley of all.

'The popularity of any website where personal information is required does raise the question of security and more needs to be done to keep people aware of the dangers.

Detective Chief Inspector Allison Rigby, of Derbyshire Police, said: 'He utilised Match as a means to target females who were divorced or widowed. I hope this case will give dating websites the opportunity to revisit their own procedures for dealing with complaints received about particular members. I would urge them to make sure processes are in place and are robust.'

Match has been conspicuously silent during the whole episode and has allowed George Kidd of the recently-formed Online Dating Association to field questions on radio and TV.

Why might internet dating be the darkest alley of all?

Because it's cheap. And cheap dating is cheap for a reason:

• There is no-one to police it; 
• There is no-one to check your ID when you join; 
• There is no-one to vet who joins, so anyone can join and anyone does; 
• There is nobody to know who you're meeting; 
• There is no-one to talk to when things go wrong; 

RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club is not cheap dating. We meet every single prospective member before they join, specifically to offer reassurance to our members that they will be safe dating and going singles events with RSVP. Plus, you can talk to our team of experts whenever you like.

Yes, it costs us more; yes, our clients pay more. But if you can afford a holiday once a year, you can afford RSVP.

Sometimes in life, it's worth paying a fair price for a personal and safe service.

Call us today to chat things through with one of our friendly team of experts: 01572 774884.

Our Winter Calendar

Have you made your New Year's resolutions for 2016 yet? There is always the usual - wanting to lose weight, wanting to get out more and of course to have more fun! Dating Agency and Singles Club RSVP's resolution this year is to help you find that special someone, so we have some amazing events to look forward to and RSVP's expert team of match makers are waiting to help you find Mr or Ms Right!

Here at RSVP, we are dusting away the cobwebs of 2015 and springing into what 2016 holds for us! Our new singles events calendar is fun-filled to keep our members busy whilst the days start to get lighter.

We have some amazing adrenaline activities in our calendar, such as The Extreme Off Road 4x4 Driving experience, a superb singles activity in Leicestershire and an opportunity to show off your off road driving skills! We're as eager to get going as you are!

If you would rather keep your feet on the ground, why not book onto our Welsh Walking Weekend? A great way to meet new people, taking in the beautiful scenery of Llangollen's countryside. It's a great way to shed the extra pigs in blankets or Christmas pudding we demolished over the festive period. Dust off your walking boots; this is not to be missed.

Going on RSVP singles events really does boost your chances of meeting someone. Think about it; instead of just waiting for an introduction every month, you could meet 10 new single people on one singles event! So going to two or three events a month, you could meet around 30 new people instead of just your one introduction! The thing to remember also is that not everyone has introductions, so those on RSVP Gold & Platinum dating memberships could be missing out on meeting our lovely Neon members! With 30 Singles Events every month it would be crazy to exclude yourself from the possibilities and having a great time. What's more, events allow you to meet those you unwittingly excluded in the criteria you specified at the outset - but might just find chemistry with.

And in March we have our Exclusive RSVP Ball - A Night in Las Vegas, cunningly disguised as a Singles Ball in Northamptonshire! After a delicious four course meal, step into Las Vegas and try your hand at Black Jack and Roulette, you'll be given 'play chips' for the professional gaming tables and croupiers. It's an opportunity for you to dress to impress and meet lots of our gorgeous members. You can even have a tipple and stay over at the luxurious venue. If you haven't played in a while or never even played before, come and practise with some experienced West End and Mayfair croupiers! Learn the hints and tips in order to maximise your game.

We look forward to seeing your faces at our events. If you're not a member yet, book a meeting with one of RSVP's expert Dating Consultants and let us help you on your journey to find that special someone. Kick start your resolutions today.