Is it because I'm a Londoner

Winston Churchill. How many of you would associate this man with modern dating?

Not me, for sure. That is until I attended a fabulous RSVP Singles Event in London at the Churchill War Rooms hosted by yours truly. We all met outside and introduced ourselves, before heading into the venue. Inside, we were talked through a short film and a tour guide gave us an overview of what the War Rooms were about, how they downed tools after the war, locked up and no one returned for 40 years. They were opened to the public on the orders of Margaret Thatcher.

Armed with our audio guides we all started to wander around; we didn’t stay as a group; we all took our time and bumped into each other, stopping for a catch up in the tea room, before continuing the tour. It was fascinating.

After a full morning, we headed to the pub for lunch, where there was lots of banter and laughs, as well as great food. After a few drinks, we talked about other RSVP Singles Events we would attend. Definitely a good day all round.

I can honestly say by the end of the day, it felt like a group of friends had shared a great day out. Singles events can seem daunting and maybe you think they would feel staged. Absolutely not. RSVP Singles Events are designed to be as natural and relaxed as we can make them; and the test is: ‘does it feel like a group of friends going out?’ This singles event felt just like that; in fact, I cannot wait to get out again.

Gents: How to establish Trust in Dating

At Dating Agency and Singles Club RSVP, we know that trusting another person is hard for many people, and made harder these days by dating apps that make you feel someone better is just a casual swipe away. Specifically, though, women who have troubling trusting their partners are usually on the lookout for certain things. Everyone has their own set of needs, but what does the sceptical woman want and need from her relationship? If you’re a woman who doesn’t trust easily, you may not even know the answer to this question. Let’s see if RSVP’s team of dating experts can help you out with that.

Let's start with what trust actually means. Trust is both a logical and emotional act. Emotionally, it's where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of you. The Logical act of trust is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss and concluded that the person in question will have a predictable manner. Trust is a two way communication which pulls together the logical act and emotional.

There are a few things that will trigger the trust issue for women, for example bringing up sex too early on in the relationship. This makes a women feel as though you are just trying to use her or are being disingenuous and will straight away lock you out. Some men think the harder they try - calling or texting a lot - the more serious she will think he is. People often have their phones on them and worry why they are not messaging back. This can be for many reasons - such as a busy life style. If a man tries too hard this can sometimes be the easiest way to lose someone as women may decide you are a ‘clinger’.

Another example at the opposite extreme is that you are not giving the relationship the attention it deserves. It will crumble and the trust will disappear. The woman you are with is not just an option to pass the time. If you are with her make her feel special and if you are not with her, at least contact her saying you are thinking about her. A relationship is about teamwork and if one person does not do their part it falls.

A woman truly wants a man who…

1.       Trusts her.
2.       Loves her.
3.       Protects her.
4.       Is Passionate.
5.       Has Ambition.

RSVP’s team of matchmaking experts are here to help you find the right partner for you.

Beating the odds

Have you ever thought you are the only single person on the planet? Then just when you finally think you may have found ‘the one’, they get snapped up from under you? Let’s be honest, when that happens, you automatically assume that there’s something wrong with you as a person. You go on a soul-search and find faults that aren’t actually there, plus a whole lot that are beyond your control. It’s pretty easy to find evidence for anything that you have programmed yourself to believe.

However…a recent article on Beating the Odds of Finding Mr Right by Jon Birger For The Daily Mail shows how mature single women in the UK outnumber men by almost a million. And this effect is exaggerated when women specify certain criteria in their perfect male partner, like a degree, for example. Plus, the situation worsens as you get older.

I found this article really intriguing, as a professional matchmaker for Dating Agency and Singles Club RSVP. It can be a common misconception that Dating Agencies struggle to attract men, so it’s something of a breath of fresh air to have these statistics out in the open. If I were the one searching, I would definitely want a team of professional matchmaking experts on my side searching for that special person on my behalf, as well as providing guidance to help me get the best out of every match. It’d certainly save wasting my time looking for a needle in a hay stack!

Although the Beating the Odds of Finding Mr Right article gives some good ways to find love, I wonder how many of us actually want to change our routines to find love? Love is acceptance, after all. I just know that mature single women need all the professional help they can get in finding a partner. And the matchmaking experts at RSVP are ready and willing to provide that help.

Are you guilty of procrastination with your dating journey?

It’s been longer than I would have liked, since I last wrote a blog. I asked myself why? The simple answer is, there is no real reason. Yes I can give you a long list of excuses, but no real valid reason. After all, we make time for what is important. I could say that life has taken over, like it sometimes does, yet I am a firm believer in freeing your time for people, rather than only talking to people in my free time.

Now I enjoy discussing the trials and tribulations of all dating aspects. I have a real passion for my role as Dating PA for RSVP’s Platinum Introduction Agency service. I can open up a whole new chapter in your life, giving you the key of the door to opportunities that you never would have had the chance to explore. I do not have a magic wand; you cannot buy love; yet I can assist on your journey a traditionaldating agency such as RSVP can offer you. Support, hints and tips: they will tell you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear.

Are you guilty of procrastination with your dating journey? When your car goes wrong and you’ve spent an hour under the bonnet wondering what all those things do, you go to a garage. When your plumbing goes wrong – you call a plumber. When Google can’t tell you what your health problem is, you go to a doctor. In all of these circumstances you have to place trust and you have to make the time.

So what are you waiting for to start your journey with the help of one of RSVP’s expert Dating PAs? Remember that self-improvement gives us the best rewards. You can’t eat healthily for one day and expect instant results; you must eat well and visit the gym time and again. Next time you go on a date, remember you are one step closer to your goal. If you are guilty of procrastination, yet you want to be someone’s priority, pull up your big pants and call an expert.

First Impressions

We are constantly told that first impressions count. It could be a job interview, meeting the neighbours, first day at work/school, the first step, first date, or that first time meeting the parents. So many firsts to think of.

I was intrigued to read an article in the Mail Online that shared Kathryn Alice’s (author of “Love will find you”) five-step formula to make a good and lasting impression. She promises it will help you become an expert at connecting with those you believe to be a 10.

1 Build yourself up internally – there is no rejection; just the wrong fit

2 Connect Subtly – Eye Contact and Smile

3 Chat matter-of-factly – making comment on things around you

4 Once emotional safety has been established, you can build on it – asking questions

5 Bring it home by furthering contact – Connect on Facebook

The beauty of this day and age is that we no longer have to take these firsts alone. For instance, at RSVP dating agency and singles club, you’ll find a team of expert matchmakers with a positive and cheery disposition, ready to help you along on your ’firsts’ journey.

The list above is fairly straight forward and full of common sense, which we all display very little of when we are bowled over by someone. This is where using a professional matchmaking service can be the voice of reason. However, I must say that my top 5 wouldn’t involve social media so soon.

Dating is unique; there is no one size fits all; therefore, I am 100% behind step one – you must learn to love yourself from the inside out to enable someone else to love you.

You could also put these skills into practice at one of RSVP’s exclusive singles events, such as a grand ball, with the support of a seasoned host.

Friendship and dating

Can a close opposite gender friendship survive dating?

A question that I don’t think can be answered fully. As in life we are all unique and we all have a different view of what’s ‘normal’.

But, let’s think about this for a moment, shall we? What makes us choose a person and think to ourselves ‘I’ll keep this one as just a friend and share memories, maybe grab some food and have fun with’?

Is having an opposite gender best friend disrespectful to a potential romantic partner?

Here at dating agency and singles club RSVP, we know that people from all over our database have sought advice on this subject, more so in recent times, now that people are more accepting.

When you join a dating agency and singles club like RSVP, you are ultimately seeking a romance. But, hold on a minute. This guy is telling me he has made some male and female friends and actually his ‘best friend’ is also female – that green-eyed monster appears. 

Ladies, the beauty of a traditional matchmaking service, is that these men have invested not only their time and money, but have sought professional dating assistance. If there were any romantic connection with his ‘best-friend’, surely he wouldn’t have needed to take that step.

And, gents, the same goes for the opposite. If the lady whose attention you seek wanted to date her best friend, she certainly wouldn’t waste her money on dating; she would be buying handbags and shoes, spending all her time convincing her male friend to look no further.

The more friends you make in life, the more your circle widens, thus opportunities arise. At RSVP dating agency and singles club, we actively encourage you to come out and met new people at our events; think of the stories you are creating. How unique to say our romance blossomed after meeting a new friend on an RSVP F1 Racing Simulator and Rock Climbing singles event in Bedford, who just happened to have a friend who was perfect for me? That’s an opportunity that would have not arisen if it wasn’t for a little help from our friends.

Cherish Today

This morning I read an article that saddened me greatly. It was reported in the Evening Standard that MilesDonnelly murdered a single mother after meeting her through online dating siteOasis.

 

Rather than slam internet dating and harp on about the importance of keeping ourselves safe online, I would like to take a moment to send our thoughts and prayers to the family of the victim Usha Patel.

 

It is with great sadness that when women are faced with the harsh reality of single life with a young child in tow, our need for attention heightens, which can leave us wide open to many situations that would appear out of character.

 

After all, we all want to be liked and ultimately loved, so we will put in that extra effort and take the risk. Sometimes this pays off and we met that person who makes our eyes dance and heart sing. Not all stories end tragically; the blame here lies only with the individual who stole a mother from a young child.

 

Tomorrow isn’t promised; cherish today; we never expect to need an emergency plan. However, the route of using a traditional dating agency like RSVP, where every member has been met, will definitely deter those with criminal intent and will help set your mind at ease. Knowledge is power; I strongly urge all daters to research traditional offline agencies through the Association of British Introduction Agencies.

 

RSVP offer our deepest sympathies to friends and family of Usha.

Modern Dating Etiquette

So is there such a thing as dating etiquette in the modern day?

 

Should some things remain private between a couple? Well, this choice is unique and personal to you, not only as an individual but as a couple.

 

However, surely anything that you do disclose should be discussed between you both. How does this work at the beginning of a relationship?

 

Most of us have that one friend that we see as our ‘human diary’; some may even be lucky enough to have a few; you know those friends that you ‘over share’ with and tell your deepest darkest secrets and desires to; things that you wouldn’t dream of relating on social media.

 

A normal day for an RSVP Dating PA (that’s the service that comes with RSVP’s Platinum Introduction Agency membership) means you hear many stories. I am the first to say that nothing shocks me anymore; you have the comfort of knowing that even if you do seek advice or over share with our team of matchmaking experts, it definitely won’t:

A-     Get plastered all over Facebook/Twitter etc  

B-      Be accidently leaked to the partner or other friends

C-      Result in you feeling judged on your actions.

 

After all, I – along with my fellow Dating PAs – am  here for that purpose; a wise but impartial and non-judgemental expert. I will tell you what you need to hear, rather than what you want to hear, to help you on your dating journey.

 

Now I was slightly surprised that there is a fairly new kid on the internet block, with a Dating app that girls can swipe left/right – fairly common these days; however, you can also join as ‘a ghost’ to help a member of your girl group search for her perfect guy; it doesn’t stop there, they can even be involved in the messages; yes, they can see the whole conversation as well as add to it!

 

Do you find this kind of dating enticing? How well do your friends know what you REALLY want in a partner? I wonder how the guys will react to dating a team!

 

I think I’d rather leave my dating in the hands of a professional team. My advice? Put your phone down and get yourself out to one of the superb singles events hosted by RSVP and meet some genuine singles face to face.

In or Out the Dating version

I remember a time when being an inny or an outty referred to your belly button; gosh, how times change.

 

Today my question refers to the online dating community.

 

A Good Morning Britain investigation has revealed one in ten women have felt physically or verbally attacked after meeting someone online, with one in four receiving explicit messages within three minutes of chatting.

 

We all profess to err on the side of caution; we know what we should do; however, does that stop us doing what we want to do?

 

Here at RSVP dating agency and singles club, we take care of the ‘should do’ side of it for you; we meet every single member face to face. As for explicit messages, they’re not really a problem in RSVP. Whatever happens, it’s nice to know that one of our team are always there to listen and advise confidentially on the best course of action.

 

Ninety-eight percent of women said  they’d always organise a first date in public, to stay safe. But in a fifth of cases, they changed their mind and they met at someone’s home instead. In a third of cases the women said they’d gone back to a private home after a first date.

 

So, as women, why do we change our minds last minute? Maybe it boils down to the quest for instant gratification that we all suffer from, from time to time. We are constantly told in for a penny in for a pound; we both know we are interested, so why not jump in?

 

I personally believe that slow and steady wins the race. A great way to stay safe is to arrange a first meeting at a pre-organised singles event, for example one of RSVP’s mix and mingles, where, if you don’t hit it off, you have an easy escape route.

 

Just remember ladies, our behaviour influences others. I am definitely an ‘outty’ (on this subject, at least).

 

 

 

 

What's your biggest fear?

What's your biggest fear? One of mine is spiders. So how do you overcome your fears? I trained my 2 boys not to be scared and to safely catch them and pop them back outside (while I hide in another room doing the good old spider dance).

 

Here at RSVP dating agencyand singles club, the most common fears I hear are:

• Fear of the unknown,
• Fear of getting back in to the dating game
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of attending a first RSVP singles event.

 

Bizarrely, one of RSVP’s team of matchmaking experts recently overcame her fear of cows. Yes, cows. She marched through a whole field of the mooing creatures while on an RSVP singles walk in Lincolnshire, organised by our events team at head quarters. Huge well done!

 

This sparked a conversation with an RSVP member of ours, attending the same RSVP singles event and supporting her, who recently overcame his fear of flying by attending an RSVP helicopter lesson singles activity.

 

The singles walk (followed by a Sunday lunch) was actually being hosted by a first time host, another fear smashed that day.

 

So, next time you find yourself wondering if you should attend that first RSVP singles event, you start to feel the sweaty palms or the faster heartbeat, just remember we are all conquering fears that others may be unaware of. All RSVP singles events are hosted and the host is there to help everyone overcome those fears and have a fun time.

 

On that first date, take away the second guessing and pick up the phone to one of our

friendly team of matchmaking experts at RSVP to talk it through; after all, our fears can be managed if not conquered.

 

 

Paying your own way?

A recent article in the Daily Mail discussed the issue of ‘who should pay for dinner on a first date?’.

As a Dating PA for RSVP’s Platinum introduction agency service, it’s an issue that is a bugbear of mine and a question I’m asked frequently. This sparked a mini discussion in my house, when I asked the question of my children ‘who should pay for dinner?’, they immediately said in unison ‘the man’; when questioned, my 13 year old son said ‘it’s just good manners’, my 11 year old son said ‘it’s chivalrous’ and my 9 year old daughter said quite simply ‘he is the man’!

Now as a professional Matchmaker, I wholeheartedly believe a FIRST dinner date should be split. Of course the rules may change after the first date. Yet, I find it surprising – and slightly depressing – that a study of 416 men and women reveals that both men and women who think they are attractive feel they quite literally bring more to the table and therefore the less attractive of the duo should be paying for the privilege of dining with them.

Interestingly, an attractive male will relent slightly and pick up the tab, if he wants to impress; if he pays he is inferring that he wants another date. An attractive woman, on the other hand, will allow and expect the man to pay, even if she is interested; this to her means that he has already invested in a future with her.

So does this mean that the less ‘naturally’ attractive among us should always foot the bill? Surely if you take pride in your appearance you have brought the same to the table. Should attractiveness trump manners?

Here at RSVP we aim to provide matches based on the characteristics of long-term relationship success – which is about more than how two people look, so we recommend that you always take your purse or wallet to dinner!

8 Steps to online love

Dating Fraud, has recently become media fodder for a number of valid reasons, which I am sure you have all read about. RSVP dating agency and singles club can help you avoid this, so although I could re-hash the details of the recent coverage, I find myself pondering, if digging into the whys and what ifs will benefit us in any way? After all, it’s already happened to many people and, surprisingly, according to a recent article in the Daily Mail’s You magazine, has increased by 16 percent in 2014-15 with recorded losses of more that £33 million.

 

We live in a world where Health and Safety has gone mad, where we need insurance policies to cover our insurance policies. MOTs to make sure our cars are roadworthy – I remember when we didn’t even have seat belts – so how can we take steps to prevent this number increasing? 

 

So here I am Friday night, sitting on the sofa with my meal for one (well, officially, for two, but of course the portions are stingy) lounge trousers and a t-shirt on (same one I’ve worn all week), beer in hand, flicking through the TV channels – nothing on again. So, I thumb through You magazine and spot ‘Beware your online soul mate’.

 

So am I just being taught to suck eggs?

 

I have given some thought to the sequence of eight steps that You magazine claim fraudsters use to hook you; I can relate to these:

 

1. SELECTING A TARGET – Looking for a profile that contains honest/trustworthy.
2. GAINING SYMPATHY- They have been through so much, yet they are a fighter and they have trusted me enough to tell me.
3. ACCEPTING MY BAGGAGE – I have children and I sustained a leg injury at work, so I sometimes limp; she doesn’t mind.
4. CHANGING MY HABITS – I rush home to talk to her, change plans with friends.
5. MIRRORING – She watches the same things on TV and has the same interests, some are newly discovered so I am helping her explore.
6. CUTTING ME OFF – We have to keep this low key for now, she is so fragile from her past and she is trusting me.
7. TAKING ME OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE –She sent me nude photos; I returned the favour, as she was so sweet and really wanted them, but now I can’t upset her; she has naked photos.
8. BUILDING A DREAM – All she needs to do is get some money together to move closer; she is working a few jobs; she is so tired, but we have everything planned. She just needs that extra bit of help from me financially and it will speed it all up.

 

With the matchmaking service provided by RSVP, we take care of steps 1 and 2 automatically; step 3 is also taken care of by the professional matchmaking team. The remaining steps that hook you in can still happen, if you have a black and white thinking style; however the matchmaking team are always at the end of the phone to help and flag up any warning signs – a safety net, so to speak. Of course, knowing that every RSVP member has been met by one of our expert Dating Consultants – so they really are who we say they are – and that all members have paid a registration fee, means your chances of bumping into a fraudster through RSVP are so tiny as to be negligible.

 

Join RSVP and date safely.

Stranger Danger - staying safe online dating

It’s scary out there in the world of online dating. But here at RSVP singles club and dating agency, we are able to offer a safety net. 

 

Think back to your childhood for a minute; what message was instilled into you, by your parents, grandparents and teachers at school? 

 

STRANGER DANGER. 

 

With the advent of the internet, has this message managed to become a little confusing to us all? So we are not supposed to talk to strangers, take sweets, follow them to their cars to look at cute Kittens or Puppies, but we can talk to anyone on the internet? Is that safe? Well, what harm will it do? They can’t even see me. I mean Strangers are only friends that we haven’t met yet, right? If we don’t take a risk we wouldn’t have any friends or relationships.

 

I’m a sensible man, successful career, been there, done that, seen it all, I understand the 6 Ps -

• Prior
• Preparation
• Prevents
• P*ss
• Poor
• Performance

 

So what is the attraction? Simple: it’s the instant gratification that we feel when chatting online. Maybe we need to slow down and believe that we can’t rush something that we expect to last forever. 

 

We all think it won’t happen to me and internet dating works for many; in no way am I suggesting it doesn’t, however I hope I have given you food for thought... 

 

Take a peek at your own online profile – does it need an MOT or a few safety checks? Are you flaunting your wealth? Is the attractive young woman who’s messaging you absolutely stunning – and perhaps more so that you could reasonably expect in a partner? Is it all too good to be true? 

 

Happy Dating.

Is internet dating 'the darkest alley of them all'?

If you're dating, you can't have missed coverage of the trial and conviction of Jason Lawrance who was found guilty of raping five women he met on match.com. He has been sentenced to life imprisonment.

The Daily Mail reports Alan Charles, Derbyshire's Police & Crime Commissioner, as saying: 'Personal safety advice used to incorporate avoiding walking alone down dark alleys at night, but the internet can be the darkest alley of all.

'The popularity of any website where personal information is required does raise the question of security and more needs to be done to keep people aware of the dangers.

Detective Chief Inspector Allison Rigby, of Derbyshire Police, said: 'He utilised Match as a means to target females who were divorced or widowed. I hope this case will give dating websites the opportunity to revisit their own procedures for dealing with complaints received about particular members. I would urge them to make sure processes are in place and are robust.'

Match has been conspicuously silent during the whole episode and has allowed George Kidd of the recently-formed Online Dating Association to field questions on radio and TV.

Why might internet dating be the darkest alley of all?

Because it's cheap. And cheap dating is cheap for a reason:

• There is no-one to police it; 
• There is no-one to check your ID when you join; 
• There is no-one to vet who joins, so anyone can join and anyone does; 
• There is nobody to know who you're meeting; 
• There is no-one to talk to when things go wrong; 

RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club is not cheap dating. We meet every single prospective member before they join, specifically to offer reassurance to our members that they will be safe dating and going singles events with RSVP. Plus, you can talk to our team of experts whenever you like.

Yes, it costs us more; yes, our clients pay more. But if you can afford a holiday once a year, you can afford RSVP.

Sometimes in life, it's worth paying a fair price for a personal and safe service.

Call us today to chat things through with one of our friendly team of experts: 01572 774884.

Our Winter Calendar

Have you made your New Year's resolutions for 2016 yet? There is always the usual - wanting to lose weight, wanting to get out more and of course to have more fun! Dating Agency and Singles Club RSVP's resolution this year is to help you find that special someone, so we have some amazing events to look forward to and RSVP's expert team of match makers are waiting to help you find Mr or Ms Right!

Here at RSVP, we are dusting away the cobwebs of 2015 and springing into what 2016 holds for us! Our new singles events calendar is fun-filled to keep our members busy whilst the days start to get lighter.

We have some amazing adrenaline activities in our calendar, such as The Extreme Off Road 4x4 Driving experience, a superb singles activity in Leicestershire and an opportunity to show off your off road driving skills! We're as eager to get going as you are!

If you would rather keep your feet on the ground, why not book onto our Welsh Walking Weekend? A great way to meet new people, taking in the beautiful scenery of Llangollen's countryside. It's a great way to shed the extra pigs in blankets or Christmas pudding we demolished over the festive period. Dust off your walking boots; this is not to be missed.

Going on RSVP singles events really does boost your chances of meeting someone. Think about it; instead of just waiting for an introduction every month, you could meet 10 new single people on one singles event! So going to two or three events a month, you could meet around 30 new people instead of just your one introduction! The thing to remember also is that not everyone has introductions, so those on RSVP Gold & Platinum dating memberships could be missing out on meeting our lovely Neon members! With 30 Singles Events every month it would be crazy to exclude yourself from the possibilities and having a great time. What's more, events allow you to meet those you unwittingly excluded in the criteria you specified at the outset - but might just find chemistry with.

And in March we have our Exclusive RSVP Ball - A Night in Las Vegas, cunningly disguised as a Singles Ball in Northamptonshire! After a delicious four course meal, step into Las Vegas and try your hand at Black Jack and Roulette, you'll be given 'play chips' for the professional gaming tables and croupiers. It's an opportunity for you to dress to impress and meet lots of our gorgeous members. You can even have a tipple and stay over at the luxurious venue. If you haven't played in a while or never even played before, come and practise with some experienced West End and Mayfair croupiers! Learn the hints and tips in order to maximise your game.

We look forward to seeing your faces at our events. If you're not a member yet, book a meeting with one of RSVP's expert Dating Consultants and let us help you on your journey to find that special someone. Kick start your resolutions today.