Start 2013 with something new

2013 is nearly upon us and the events team here at RSVP have just sent out the new January-March calendar to RSVP dating and singles events members.

The start of the new year is a great opportunity to try something new or embark on a fresh romance, so start the new year on a positive note by coming to few more RSVP singles events.

You can now book your tickets for our Valentines Ball; this has proved very successful in previous years in sparking off some new romances, so let's get dressed up, make some new friends and who knows where it might lead?

After last year's success we have reserved tickets for the Burn's Night at Moor Hall Hotel; this event sells out fast, so please don't leave it to the last minute and be disappointed. Book Today!

We are excited to be running a photography course in March; whether you have an SLR or a compact camera, come and spend the day with a professional photographer and learn how to get the results that will impress your friends. The morning will concentrate on landscapes and outdoor photography and after lunch the focus will be people and portraits. This will be a great opportunity to ask lots of questions and pick up tips from a professional. Places are limited so book early.

By request we have included an event at the National Gallery in Trafalgar Square. The National Cafe is a lovely venue to have lunch and followed by a stroll around the gallery seems a perfect way to spend a winter afternoon.

Whatever type of events appeals to you, there is a wide range available to choose from, all of which will be hosted by one of our fantastic hard working RSVP hosts.

No fakes at RSVP...

During a meeting this week with a prospective new dating agency member, we were chatting about her online dating experiences and how disappointing she had found it. Amongst the usual stories of meeting guys who didn't live up to the expectations of their profiles and pictures, she mentioned that just as her membership was due to expire she received an email from a guy who was a near perfect match to what she was looking for. As she couldn't reply to him as a lapsed member, she paid for another three months membership. Sadly, despite the interest he showed initially, she never heard from him again. Funny, that. 

This was particularly interesting as it has been reported on Channel4 last week that a large internet dating provider has admitted to using fake profiles on their sites to entice people into paying to join. They confessed that they employed some 20 people to send fabricated messages from these profiles to deceive their members and keep them paying for longer. The report focused on a "white label" dating site where many different themed dating sites share one database of members, so unless you read the small print you may not realise you have joined a variety of differently branded sites and not all may reflect your taste or requirements.

There is no denying that lots of people turn to internet dating when looking for a partner. However, many discover the experience to be impersonal and disappointing at best and some fall victim to scammers and unscrupulous people pretending to be someone they are not. Many of our members here at RSVP have told us they prefer the personal approach that we provide and that our joining process, which includes meeting all of our members face-to-face, helps them to feel safer and better prepared for their dates.

One of our primary aims at RSVP is to provide a professional, personal, confidential and honest service. We want our members to meet a new partner. Many have shared stories of their positive experiences of RSVP with their friends. With over 20 years experience behind us and many successful, lasting relationships formed, we have absolutely no need to use fake profiles or to hide behind someone else's brand. RSVP members really are who they say they are.

Happy Birthday RSVP

Last weekend to help celebrate our 20th birthday, the staff here at dating agency RSVP held a black tie birthday bash at the beautiful 4 star Ardencote Manor Hotel & Spa, Claverdon, Warwick.

Members both old and new were invited to enjoy the evening alongside staff, with all the ladies looking beautiful in their ball gowns and the gents extremely smart in their dinner jackets.


RSVP's very own Birthday cake!

It was great to catch up with old members who had met through RSVP, telling us with great excitement their forthcoming wedding plans and other news! It was also a great way to meet new members and we also had a great mix of age groups, with all levels of membership represented: Neon, Gold and Platinum.

Celebrations carried on long into the night with members enjoying each others company and staying on the dance floor all night! It was also great to hear that there were some successful matches resulting from the evening, proof again if needed, that if you get out there attending events your ideal partner could be just around the corner!

Now that Christmas is fast approaching there are plenty of other singles events to get booked on to, including the RSVP Christmas Party Night at the Sibson Inn and New Years Eve Dinner Dance at Staverton Park. These are just some of the many events available in our October-December 2012 RSVP Event Calendar.

Why it's worth keeping your phone out of sight on a date

I'm sure that all you avid daters keep up to date with the latest publication of the The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, the international journal that publishes research on social and personal relationships. But just in case you missed the last one issued in September, it gave some very good advice about why you shouldn't look at your mobile phone during a romantic date.

That's obvious, I hear you say, I know I should be focusing on my date 100%, you've mentioned it enough in the RSVP dating blog. Well the research discovered that it's not just the fact that you will appear rude by checking your messages or the time.

Psychologists have discovered that the mere presence of a mobile phone or device may influence what your date is thinking about too. When they spot the device, their mind can start wandering and they begin to think about other people and events outside of the immediate social context.

When you are on a date with someone you fancy - or even at one of RSVP's many singles events, you should be trying to create a connection between the two of you so that your date wants to see you again. Like living organisms, relationships have a beginning, a lifespan and an end. They tend to grow and improve gradually, as people get to know each other and become closer emotionally. The beginning of a relationship is the most fragile, as the connection between you is so slight, it can break at any time. This is the stage when first impressions are so key. A vast amount of research has been done to look at how you can influence the success of this stage. You really can make a difference.

So, remember when you glance at your phone to check the time, not only will they think you need a lesson in manners, their mind will also start to wander and they'll start thinking about other things. And don't place the phone on the table where it can be seen - even the presence of a phone or i-pad in eye-shot can interfere with the connection you are trying to make with your date.

If you want more hints and tips on how to make your date go well, have a look at RSVP's dating tips and advice site.

And if you want to read more about the psychology of why and how we fall for someone, the book Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose gives a great insight, with some real research to back up the statements it makes – well worth reading.

New Calendar Highlights

Well we certainly won't forget 2012's 'Summer of Sport' with fantastic British success in so many categories of this summers amazing Games. If you have found yourself inspired to try something new, why not give an RSVP Singles event a try? Our new October-December 2012 calendar has just been sent out, full of exciting social events and activities for you to try alongside fellow like-minded RSVP dating and singles events members. Why not have a go at events such as:

• Yachting & Kayaking at Rutland Water
• Shooting at Long Acres
• Walking Weekend in The Long Mynd Hills
• Taster Microlight Experience

With Christmas fast approaching, get into the festive spirit at the RSVP Christmas Party Night. Taking place on Saturday, 1 December at the Sibson Inn, near Peterborough, enjoy a sumptuous three course meal with wine and disco until 1am. The dinner is exclusive to dating agency RSVP; we will then join with other parties for the dancing afterwards.

Struggling for New Years Eve? Dating agency RSVP has this covered! Enjoy a Dinner Dance at Staverton Park, Daventry, Northamptonshire. A champagne reception is followed by a delicious dinner with music from a live band and disco. Price includes overnight accommodation and full use of the hotels facilities, including pool, spa, steam room and golf course.

If your not already a member of  dating agency RSVP don't panic, all you need to do is request a sample RSVP singles events calendar, look through and see what takes your fancy! You too could be enjoying fantastic hosted single events and activities amongst fellow like minded singles. Or, you can also book onto an open taster event, designed to accomodate non members, experience for yourself an RSVP singles event before becoming a full member.

All of our singles events are hosted by an experienced RSVP dating and singles events member, who will guide you through your first event, making the experience that bit easier and more enjoyable. So dont be nervous, request a calendar and start enjoying life as an RSVP singles events member!

Dating Disasters

I was asked to speak to BBC West Midlands Radio last week about dating disasters and the biggest turn-offs for men and women. I think most of our dating members at RSVP are pretty intelligent and clued up about dating, so most of my stories of horror come from the experiences our members have had before they joined RSVP. That is one of the big advantages of joining a dating agency. Any good dating agency should be aiming to help you be as successful as possible in meeting the person of your dreams. Here are some of my top tips that I give to new members going dating with RSVP.

1. Be realistic and set yourself realistic goals when meeting someone for the first time. By keeping your cool and not setting unattainably high expectations, you avoid disappointment. Instead, your goal should be to have fun and see if there's any potential chemistry.

2. Make the first date a meeting for coffee or a drink. Keep the meeting light and relaxed.

3. Make an effort with your appearance. Don't come straight from the gym or garden. Wear something relaxed but that shows you have actually thought about the other person before you came to meet them. If you want some help with what to wear, RSVP's own image coach has plenty of useful tips.

4. Keep the conversation light; talk a little and then let your date talk. Ask your date lots of questions about them. DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR EX PARTNER.

5. Avoid taking calls on your phone or texting whilst out with a date - it's just plain rude! The person you are sitting with is going to think you aren't interested in them.

6. Be prepared to give the person a chance. Don't judge them by one statement that annoys you when you really don't know the context. Remember they are going to be as nervous as you are and it is normal to be nervous!

7. Play it cool and never come on too strong. Wait to see if your feelings are reciprocated before you declare your undying love. And don't bombard someone you've just met with text messages and calls - it scares them off.

And please remember not to lose sight of the fact that the people you are meeting are real people with real feelings just like you. At the very least, enjoy having coffee with someone new and give them the courtesy of listening to what they have to say for a couple of hours. If you find that there's no chemistry at the end of the date, then be polite but honest. One of the biggest moans I hear from RSVP dating agency members is that the person they saw on a date says they want to meet again and then disappears.

Get on your bike this summer with RSVP!

Fancy getting on your bike and making the most of the summertime? If so, here at Dating agency RSVP we have three beautifully-organised summer cycle tours in our new July-September singles events calendar. After receiving great feedback from RSVP dating and singles event members about previous events ran in our last calendar we have teamed up again to organise more of these fantastic tours from London.

With events running in July, August & September, you can choose when to get out there and enjoy the summertime and with a choice of activities alongside the cycling, what better way to enjoy a day out than with fellow like minded singles on an RSVP open taster event?

Bike Ride to watch the Road Racing Cycle Event

Saturday, 28 July

You can get involved in this once-in-a-lifetime event by joining us for the day but it involves the small sacrifice of an early start! We will need to meet at Twickenham Station at 8:30am before watching the road race pass by and enjoy the excitement of the event. Then after a bit of breakfast (pay as you go) we'll cycle the traffic free roads up to Richmond Park to watch the cyclists return. A return ride and ferry to Twickenham for some riverside pubs will finish this unique day. Membership is not required for this great day out as it's an RSVP open taster event. 


Jester's Ale Pub Ride with ale tasting and afternoon tea picnic

Sunday, 12 August

Meet us at Putney riverside at 10am for  12 mile historic bike tour along this London Boat Race river route crossing the river 4 times (some steps) passing the houses and pubs of this old part of London. A pub lunch, "shots of ale" taster, afternoon tea picnic in a stately home park and riverside pubs will finish the day. Membership is not required for this great day out as it's also an RSVP open taster event.

.
Windsor Castle Country Ride and afternoon tea picnic

Saturday, 15 September

This 20 mile ride is for those that requested a longer cycle and involves meeting at 9:30am at Hampton Court Train Station. It's a great ride from Hampton Court to Windsor past quaint locks, country villages, a Royal farm Shop and finishing with an afternoon tea picnic overlooked by Windsor Castle. You are then able to return home by train from Windsor about 5pm.


If cycling is not your thing don't panic, with such a great selection of other events to choose from why not come along and enjoy all the thrills and spills of an RSVP singles event near you?

New RSVP Calendar Highlights

We have now certainly entered 2012's 'Summer of Sport' with the European football underway and tennis, golf and the much-anticipated Games themselves all around the corner! What better way to enjoy all of these historic sporting events than by booking yourself onto an RSVP Singles event and enjoying the atmosphere alongside fellow like-minded RSVP dating and singles events members?
The good news is that we have just sent out our new July-September 2012 calendar to members, which is full of exciting singles events for you to come along and enjoy such as:

• Bike Ride to Watch the Off Road Cycle Event
• Great Summer Garden Party
• Newmarket Races with Behind the Scenes Tour
• Weekend Escape to Norfolk

One event RSVP members will not want to miss is our Exclusive 'Happy 20th Birthday, RSVP' Ball at the Ardencote Manor Hotel. This promises to be a night to remember, so why not join us for our black tie birthday bash at this beautiful 4 star Spa Hotel and enjoy a sumptuous three course dinner with wine, followed by dancing until late?

Dating agency RSVP has also included a Weekend Escape to Norfolk in our new calendar. Starting on Friday, 21 September enjoy 2 nights bed & breakfast in the Royal Hotel, Mundesley-on-Sea. There are various possible activities for the weekend including:

• Nostalgic journey aboard a real steam train
• Great Yarmouth's Pleasure Beach
• Stroll along the beautiful Norfolk coastline
• Boat trips along the stunning Norfolk waterways

If you're not already an RSVP member don't panic, just request a sample RSVP singles events calendar, look through and see what takes your fancy! Join now and you too could be enjoying a fab summer of superb events and activities. Or, you can also book onto an open taster event, which are open to non members and are a great way to experience an RSVP singles event!

If you are a little nervous about attending an event, don't be, as all of our singles events are hosted by an experienced RSVP dating and singles event member. The hosts will help ease you through your first event and impart some words of wisdom to make your first experience that little bit easier and more enjoyable.

Is a lack of confidence holding you back in your dating?

Confidence is a very attractive quality and something that comes up again and again when we are discussing "ideal" partners with our new and existing RSVP dating members. They use terms like "confident", "self-assured", "happy-in-their-skin" and "comfortable with who they are". 

As I was driving to work this week I was shocked to hear the results of a recent all parliamentary group report that has found over half of us are unhappy with our body image. They see this as "an underlying cause of health and relationship problems, a key contributor to low self-esteem and a major barrier to progression at work". This got me thinking about how closely our body image is tied to our self confidence and the impact this can have. Of course a loss in confidence can be caused by all kinds of things, but it seems clear to me that a dislike of our appearance or any loss of confidence seriously affects our ability to make and maintain successful relationships.

Here at dating agency RSVP, we believe you will be more successful in finding your ideal partner if you are happy with the way you look and the life you are leading. As the chinese philosopher Confucius said "how things look on the outside of us depends on how things are on the inside". To help you achieve this, we offer image coaching and relationship coaching either as a stand alone service or as part of our Platinum introduction agency membership. Our dating PAs understand that rebuilding your confidence is a key part of the dating process and the personal service they are able to offer platinum members is a valuable extra benefit.

Having attended our May Ball Leicestershire Singles Event last weekend, I can testify first hand how good our events can be. Attending events is another great way to rebuild your confidence and make that important first step back into dating. As well as being great fun, they give you a "safe" place to take the first step and are a great way to meet new friends...after all, everyone there is in the same situation as you.

If you would like to discuss joining or upgrading, please give our team a call.

Why do Men Flirt in the Workplace?

At Dating Agency RSVP, we were recently asked an interesting question, which we thought best to share with our followers. Why do men flirt in the workplace?

Some common thoughts are that men try to flirt their way to the top! Psychologists who have studied this disagree, finding men who flirt at work actually lack in sensitivity. This would suggest there is no real benefit in flirting, to advance any career progression. Low job satisfaction is another possibility, if lacking in motivation or easily distracted, the chance to flirt will give him something fun to do, adding a bit of excitement to what so far has been yet another unsatisfying day.

This possible theory was investigated by business psychologists Chadi Moussa and Adrian Banks from the University of Surrey, through a questionnaire that measured flirting behaviours at work, job satisfaction, self reported job performance, and personality. Said Chadi: “Previous research has shown that people flirt for various reasons, which include increasing their self-esteem, fun and romance. If men are feeling unsatisfied in their roles, then they may resort to flirting to keep them entertained and this would partially explain the negative relationship. While flirting can have benefits, excessive flirting at work may be a sign that you’re unsatisfied with your job or simply bored. These findings contradict popular notions that flirting at work can make employees mores satisfied or perform better”.

So what reasons are there to explain the flirtatious male in the workplace? One thing that has crossed our mind is, perhaps a lack in confidence or low self esteem around women is actually what causes men to go into “flirt mode”, therefore deflecting away from any confidence issues that arise when placed in difficult situations.

RSVP’s dating coach Stephanie Robinson regularly holds personal coaching sessions to help build the confidence of people who struggle in these scenarios.

Booking a session with Steph would certainly help both your confidence and self-esteem. Then afterwards why not test it out the best possible way, by booking on a selection of RSVP singles events?

Hosts Wanted for RSVP Singles Events

We are currently looking to recruit additional hosts for our RSVP Singles Events in all areas. If you are fun, outgoing, positive, influential, diplomatic, supportive and, above all, an all-round ‘people person’ we’d love to hear from you.

We would also like to re-invigorate our ‘Event Buddy’ scheme, whereby we can put new members in touch with an existing member who could perhaps show them the ropes.

If you have a few RSVP Singles Events under your belt - maybe a singles dinner or two or perhaps one or more of our many singles walks and would be prepared to impart some words of wisdom to a new member to ease them through their first event - or better still get them to attend an event with you - please get in touch with RSVP Events Manager Wendy on 01572 774886.

How to compliment a lady

Travelling to the Burlington Hotel in Birmingham today to meet some Birmingham Singles looking to join RSVP, I was very happy to receive a compliment from a guy on the train. It really made me smile and it brightened my day. So, for the rest of the journey I was left pondering on the best way to deliver a pleasant compliment to a lady. It's a problem often put to RSVP's dating coach, Stephanie Robinson.

Of course, we all know men and women's brains are wired differently and what seems like a perfectly logical compliment from the guy's point of view can quickly turn sour when interpreted by the lady. So what is a man to do? How is he ever meant to get it right?

Well, a recent survey by a health care provider has suggested that one of best, sure-fire ways to compliment a lady is by making a comment that suggests that she has lost weight. I have to say, I agree wholeheartedly with this, if it comes from someone I know. A simple "you're looking very trim in that outfit" would definitely lift my day. However, be warned; avoid saying that a lady "looks well". It is a comment that I have heard more than once and I immediately think you are saying "you've put a bit of weight on". And the survey suggests that I am not the only one here - so be warned!

Another safe bet could be to make a positive comment about how they are looking - for example you could say that you like their smile or eyes. Although don't do what my husband did when he first met me and ask if they are wearing coloured contact lenses. I am sure he was well-meaning, but I wasn't impressed! Other sage areas for you to try could include mentioning the colours they are wearing or the outfit they have chosen. At the end of the day, we like to know that we are looking good today and made the right choices about what to wear!

Looking at a recent Yahoo survey, the best compliment voted on by their readers was "Are your feet sore, because you have been running through my mind all night". A great line, but I'd say this was a pretty risky strategy. I know that a man who makes you laugh can be very attractive, but you don't want to be labelled as a "player" used to delivering slick and insincere comments to lots of ladies. And you are definitely not being funny when you say "You are not as stupid as you look" - but I know you wouldn't say that, would you?

Having said all of this and made you feel nervous about saying anything to me when we meet, I must say that the best advice I can give the men out there is not to be put off from making a compliment just in case you get it wrong. When someone else tells you that you look good, it can do wonders for your self confidence and always makes you smile. Just take a second to think about what you are going to say first - and how it could be interpreted - before you actually say it! It might be logical to you - but will it come across that way?

Why use a Professional Matchmaking Agency?

These days there are lots of different ways to find yourself a partner, so why should you use a matchmaker when this can be seen by some as a traditional, somewhat old-fashioned route to meeting people? In this internet age, it can seem an odd decision to liberate yourself from your pc and talk to a matchmaker about the type of person you are looking for, but there are some real benefits in shutting off your laptop and taking the time to talk to the professionals at a reputable dating agency. Here are just some of the many reasons why:

Experience and knowledge

Professional matchmakers are experts in the field of helping people find partners. They get to know you on a one-on-one basis and are then able to guide you through the process of finding the right relationship for you. They can then make recommendations for introductions to you based on:
- the criteria you have stated
- your own personality
- what you are looking for in a partner long term
Matchmakers make it is their business to get to know you: your wants, needs and desires.

Privacy

Your matchmaker will only introduce you to the sorts of people you are likely to be interested in. They will not release your contact information or photo to anyone without your permission. By using a matchmaker no one, your boss or colleagues at work, your ex, or your family members, will know you are looking for a partner unless, of course, you tell them.

Safety

No one wants to meet a perfect stranger. Your matchmaker has spoken with, met and checked the i.d. of everyone you are introduced to. Because of this, you can explore romance without fear or worry. It also means that you can avoid the need for corny chat up lines in bars or at the gym.  And of course you also have the benefit of knowing that the person you are meeting is actually looking for the same thing as you!

Focused and tailored for you

Your matchmaker gets to know you and bases your introductions on your personality, lifestyle, likes, dislikes and values.  Remember, it’s an iterative process, they will also build up a picture of what you are looking for as you provide feedback after each meeting.  In this way, they get to know you and understand exactly who will be a suitable match.

Saving You Time

You don't have to spend countless hours browsing thousands of online profiles, writing dozens of introduction e-mails, allowing you to save your energy for the actual date.

Independent Profiles

Dating profiles are written by the adviser that has met with you at your introductory meeting.  This means that you know all the profiles you see have been written by a third party and are based on what the adviser saw when they met them in person.  A good matchmaker will also be able to flesh out the profile for you based on what they have got to know about your introduction since they joined. The added benefit is that you don’t need to try and think how to best portray yourself, you can let someone else do that for you.

Everybody is single!

It’s where all the serious professional people are going to find a partner, so it makes sense to head to the same place yourself!

Avoid the games

People who use a matchmaking service want to find a partner and are serious enough to have paid a professional to help them do that. Just think: no more second guessing or wasting your time with game players – you can meet other like-minded singles who are interested in a relationship

A final reality check

But remember, matchmakers aren’t miracle workers and they cannot make something that doesn’t exist. There’s a difference between looking for the partner of your dreams and living in a dream world. At the end of the day, a matchmaker can only introduce you to some great people who you are likely to feel a connection with, they cannot make the chemistry happen for you.

This means that you won’t always find love with the first match you meet, or possibly even the sixth, although many do find love on the first date!

Joining an agency is about being in the right place at the right time – if you aren’t on the books when Mr or Mrs Right comes along you can’t be there to meet them!

Gents, get the most from RSVP membership

Our very supportive member and excellent singles events host Russell H recently put together some tips to help RSVP gents get the most from their RSVP dating memberships and singles events membership. He was lamenting the fact that men don't get the most from their membership because they don't make the best of the singles events. I'm sure he'll forgive me for paraphrasing somewhat, but Russell's top tips are:

1. Guys, the idea of RSVP events is to meet women. So, if you want to meet lots of women, go to some events!
2. If you meet someone who appeals to you, talk to them and exchange details - you're not just there for the food/beer/activity. It won't happen every time, but relax, it only takes one. And you'll feel great in a week or two's time when you get a call or text from the lady you chatted to that night.
3. It'll also be worthwhile exchanging numbers with any guys you get on with, as it's useful to share the driving and agree which events you'll go to.
4. As a fully paid-up member, you are already paying for events, so it makes sense to go to some.
5. Women book earlier than men, so, to balance things out, RSVP will put women on a waiting list. If you book early enough, another lady can come too.
6. If you're worried about whether there will be people of your age - there probably will - call the office and they'll let you know. Or why not ask them for their best recommendation for an event for you?
7. Try something new - there are loads of activities and the like - so you'll have interesting tales to relate on your next date/event. Flow-riding anyone?
8. Meet your introduction at an event. If you're a Gold/Platinum member wondering where to meet your next introduction, you've 150 ideas in the latest calendar. Plus, that way, if you don't hit it off, there'll be plenty of others there to talk to.
9. We all know that guys don't like to plan too far ahead. (Still not sure why, mind you). But, keep in mind that, in life, it's the planners who reap the rewards. Coincidences, whilst delightful when they happen, are few and far between. 

I'll let you think on that last one and consider its merits.

Spring along to some new RSVP singles events

What a fantastic few days we have had this week - Spring has definitely sprung!
 
When the weather improves, it really does inspire you to get out and about doing something different, so it is good news that we have just sent out our new calendar to RSVP dating and singles events members. We have some fantastic singles events for you to come along to such as:

• A walking weekend in Derbyshire
• Sunday walks and Bike rides
• Disc Golf (it's like combining Frisbee and golf)
• Dinners in some lovely restaurants and pubs
• And of course we have our May Ball, being held in Leicestershire.

If you aren't an RSVP member, you can request a sample RSVP singles events calendar, and some of these might wet your appetite!
A handful of our 50 singles events every month are open to members. Anyone single can attend one of our RSVP open taster singles events.

Events are such a great way to meet new people in a relaxed and non pressurised environment. Many of our members prefer events because they get a chance to meet potential matches a few times and get to know them, without the tension of making up your mind on a first date. And we always have a host at our events to make sure that members are introduced and that the event goes smoothly!

It is important to remember a few key tips when attending a singles event.

1. Smile!

When you walk in, smile like you know other people in the room - chances are you will get a smile back and this is sure to put you at your ease and make it easier to start a conversation.

2. Be aware of those around you

Remember that everyone feels nervous at their first event, where they don't know anyone in the room.  When you arrive at the event and it looks like everyone knows each other because they are deep in conversation, you can be sure that they don't. So despite your desire to run in the opposite direction, try to forget how you are feeling and become more sensitive to those around you. I am sure that many of your fellow guests will welcome a smile and a conversation opener, just as much as you do. So be open to your fellow guests and make it easy for others to engage you in conversation. You will appear much more attractive if you are mingling and making conversation rather than standing in the corner of the room.

3. Be prepared with how to start the conversation

Before you go to the event, think about some easy conversation openers. A simple "Hi, how are you?" works really well. Then think of some interesting questions that you can ask such as "What interested you in this event" , Make sure it is an open question, so they can't just answer with a yes or a no. Remember open questions tend to start with what, why and how.

4. Don't be a bore

Don't talk only about yourself. Make sure ask those around you about themselves. Most people will feel confident about talking about themselves, so you will help to put them at their ease. Pay attention to what people are saying and ask them questions to show that you are listening. Oh, and don't act like a know-all. You may think your are showing off your knowledge, others will think you are a bore!

5. Pick safe topics of conversation

Don't pick a conversation topic that will ignite people's emotions, you may think you are being edgy or controversial, but those around you won't appreciate a heated conversation at a social gathering.

6. Talk to other people of the opposite sex

There's no point attending a singles event if you don't talk to anyone and in particular if you don't talk to your target audience!

7. Have fun!

The most important thing is that you enjoy yourself. The more fun you have, the more you will relax and appear more appealing to potential dates. And, more importantly, you will have a fun experience and get the best out of the event.

RSVP London Singles Event: Tour of St Pancras Renaissance Hotel

My last visit inside Giles Gilbert Scott's evocative masterpiece was in 2001, whilst its prime use was as an occasional film set for the Spice Girls, Harry Potter, et al. Whilst the famous staircase had been well-preserved, most of the rooms bore the battle scars of St Pancras' then most recent occupation as offices. The ornate high ceilings had suffered unceremonious puncturing to allow the installation of lower office-friendly suspended ceilings. The murky windows looked down on a barely-used and down-at-heel St Pancras station, its seven platforms scarcely taxed by the occasional trail of visitors through its period booking hall on their way to Leicester, Derby or Sheffield.

Our RSVP London Singles Event on 10 March couldn't have been more different. Tour guide and St Pancras historian par excellence Royden Stock guided us through the beautifully restored building, regaling us with tales of its construction and troubled history.

The building today is part St Pancras Renaissance Hotel and part Manhatten Loft Corporation Apartments, with one suite we visited being useable as either a hotel suite or an apartment. The view from the windows is now of the bustling St Pancras International - London terminus of Eurostar and gateway to the Continent.

As a previous visitor - and long-time admirer - of St Pancras, I was relieved at the sensitivity of the restoration. Much of the fabric and quirkiness of the old building has been retained and yet made habitable in the 21st century. Huge amounts have been spent on recreating rare features of the old building - like the wallpaper in one of the suites with genuine gold leaf.

Our London Singles certainly seemed to agree and all were very grateful for Royden's time and knowledge. Why not book your own tour of St Pancras?

Dear Mr PM, I have an idea about economic growth...

Okay, so this post isn't exactly a dating tip, but as RSVP is a dating agency for professionals, I hope that many of our members will find this post relevant to them.

No-one can avoid talk about the economy and how the government should be doing things to stimulate growth. Well, as a business owner this is something that is very close to my heart, so is on my mind often.

As I was pondering on what can be done, an e-mail popped into my in-box reminding me that I was going on a course at the end of the month. It is being run by an excellent training company, called Inspired Working.

What has this got to do with the economy? A good question! I am not suggesting that my attending a one day course in London will take us out of recession. But bear with me...

As MD of an SME, it can sometimes feel a lonely job and I miss the sense of working in a team (you feel sympathy for me, I'm sure). As a result, taking time out of the business to think is invaluable. As well as learning some new skills, it allows me to do many things:

• I get to take time away from the day to day
•  I get time to think strategically about my business
•  I get to share experiences with my peers

So, Mr Prime Minister, I was thinking...

Most people agree that we need to stimulate more business growth. SMEs provide jobs for a significant proportion of Britain's workforce.

And whilst I know that SME's need access to finance and a competitive tax environment to grow, these things take time to change.

In my humble opinion, we are missing one simple and quick trick here. What about supporting individuals running SMEs to fulfil their potential by making sure we all take time out of our businesses to do some training?

Lots of money is being pumped into training young people, but how about transferring just a little bit of that funding to help those individuals who can quickly make a significant (and leveraged) impact on the economy? I would love to do more training, but I struggle to fund that training for myself. How about a small grant for SMEs to spend on training that focuses on really growing businesses?

Just a thought...

The Power of Positive Thinking in Dating

On my way back from one of the RSVP singles events in Northamptonshire the other day, I was reflecting that all of us affect, in one way or another, the people around us. This happens instinctively and on a subconscious level, through thoughts and feelings transference, and through body language. People sense our personality very quickly when they meet us and are affected by our thoughts, and vice versa. Is it any wonder that we want to be around positive people and avoid negative ones? People are more disposed to help us if we are positive, and they dislike and avoid anyone broadcasting negativity.

The power of positive thinking is not ignoring reality. Bad things still happen to postive people as they do with negative people. However there are numerous scientific studies that prove beyond doubt that the power of positive thinking is that hopeful, optimistic people have been shown to be more healthy and live longer and generally report greater satisfaction with life.

The advantageous impact of positive thought can therefore have a significant impact on first impressions when dating. One of the most common requests I hear when I am meeting singles joining dating agency RSVP is that they want to meet someone with a positive outlook on life.

So, if you want to make yourself more attractive to potential partners, then I suggest you determine to be positive throughout the day, wherever you are. I guarantee that, by appearing positive and upbeat, you will make yourself more attractive and meet more people.

Other positive actions you can take:

1. Look through your dating profile and eliminate any negative statements - dislikes, mustn't haves, no this, no that, you know the kind of thing. 
2. Never talk about past relationships. Chances are, if you are dating, your previous relationships didn't work. Whatever the reason, the new person in your life won't want to hear about it! Remember to stay positive when out on a date. This might mean you prepare some topics of conversation before you make that first phone call or go out on a date.
3. Try not to complain about the service in the restaurant or how your last date went. You would do much better to talk about what you are looking forward to, or something you are passionate about. In this way your energy and positivity will shine through and make you much more attractive.
4. Remove negative influences that bring you down. If your friends are constantly critical about things, this will strongly influence how you react to things. Avoid anyone who zaps your positive thinking - they are positivity vampires who want to make you as miserable as they are: Radio 4's Today programme, for example.
5. Avoid talking yourself down - what is often called negative self-talk on motivation courses. You need to believe in yourself first before you can expect anyone else to believe in you. 

If you think a more positive outlook might improve your dating prospects, try one or both of these:

Beyond Positive Thinking: The Advanced Formula for Total Success Revealing a Guaranteed Path to Getting the Results You Want.

Kiss That Frog!: 12 Great Ways to Turn Negatives into Positives in Your Life and Work.

RSVP Valentine's Singles Ball

RSVP team members Matt and Tina

I have just been reviewing some of the great feedback we have had after our Valentine Ball last Saturday. This was just one of the many singles events hosted by RSVP, this time a singles event in Leicestershire at the Hunting Lodge Hotel. I was relieved that the temperature warmed up just a little for the glam ladies in their beautiful ball gowns - not much room for thermals under some of those!

It's so nice to see that so many of our members enjoyed themselves. And even better news is that we had a couple of successful matches on the evening too! And what joy to see Nigel and Ann enjoying each other's company, having got together just before Christmas at another event.

I can't wait until our May Ball! And we have some other fantastic events coming in March, including a tour of St Pancras Hotel, a walking weekend, a tour around Silverstone and lots of singles walks. Some of these singles events are open to non-members. And Wendy, our Events Manager is busy preparing the calendar for April to June which we will be publishing soon.

I was reflecting that the great thing about an RSVP event is not just that you get to meet so many other single people, but that you get to have fun mixing with such great people. As a host, my job at the events is to make sure people have a good time, but that is so easy when the people you are mixing with are such fun. I danced the night away and couldn't believe it when it was time to go home. I really do think that I have the best job in the world. 

Nigerian Dating Scams

We all know that there are plenty of scams on internet dating sites but the number of stories of people being hoaxed by these scams seems to be increasing and it is making the national news headlines. We all like to think that we are too savvy to be caught out by a scam, but I wanted to give you some hints and tips to keep you safe while dating. These tips are aimed at internet daters but many apply equally to any date you go on. You need to be applying the same thought process regardless of where you were first introduced to the your date. And guys, you are just as much at risk as girls.

1. Use your intuition. If something seems odd, or you get a funny feeling, or something just doesn't seem right, go with your instincts. Many Nigerian and Malaysian scammers use pictures of models but the smarter ones are now stealing pictures of “real people” to use. This is going to sound harsh, but you need to be realistic - if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. We all like to be flattered and flirted with; however, when it happens, don’t let common sense go out of the window.
2. Be alert.
   Scammers prey on the emotionally vulnerable - kind-hearted, people who are looking for a genuine person to love. And don't go thinking it’s just women that are scammed; in fact, some research suggests that men over 50 are most at risk to internet scammers. The only reason we don’t read about it so often is that they're less willing to admit they've been duped; I hear plenty of horror stories from guys who come to join my dating agency RSVP having been scammed on the internet and they are often intelligent businessmen who didn’t follow rule number one above.
3. Do some simple checking.
   Look out for poorly-worded profiles with bad grammar or capital letters in strange places in the sentence. If the profile sounds a little too well written, then try copying a phrase into Google to see how many times it appears in the results. Internet scammers tend to use the same profile on many sites. If the person you are chatting to on-line lives or works abroad, be alert that the chance of them being a scammer is much greater – use the internet to research who they say they work for and where they have offices overseas.
4. Don't send money to someone you haven't met.
   The alarm bells should start ringing as soon as you are asked to send some money. Think about it: would you ask someone you have only just met for money? It isn’t just the Nigerian and Malaysian scammers that use this technique. There are plenty of dishonest people here who use dating sites to find vulnerable, kind hearted people who want to help others.

Learn more about internet dating scams on our dating tips and advice website.

You can of course avoid a lot of heartache and worry by choosing a reputable introduction agency where they meet all their clients before they join. No scammer is going to risk that kind of exposure - and they are usually in a faraway land anyway!

But, whichever way you date, be careful out there.

Book Review: Simply Irresistible: The Psychology Of Seduction by Dr Raj Persaud

Want to know how to catch and keep your ideal partner?

I have just finished re-reading this fascinating book by Professor Raj Persaud and I thought I would share the details of the excellent read. I would make it required reading for everyone looking to find a partner!

Well-written and easy to read, Professor Raj looks at the way psychology can help unravel mysteries of attraction! This is great news for those amongst us who seek to determine our own fate and would rather not leave seduction to chance.

In this illuminating follow-up to his acclaimed bestseller, The Motivated Mind, Dr Raj Persaud draws on research to show not only how to increase your attractiveness generally, but how to become absolutely irresistible to anyone.

For example, do you know…

·         That experiments on dating can predict with over 80% accuracy who will be attracted to whom by whether just a few simple conversational strategies are used on a date?

·         Why women wear lipstick and blusher on their cheeks?

·         That seeking to agree 100% of the time on a date is not actually the best strategy to use?

If I had to sum up the key piece of advice that Professor Raj Persaud offers, it would be to concentrate on the good things you have to offer others - and develop these, rather than focusing on what you are looking for. Time and again, I see that the most successful RSVP dating agency members are those who concentrate on enhancing their own life experiences, including by coming to RSVP singles events, rather than coming to me with a long list of “must-have” attributes of the person they would like to meet.

And when you are thinking about what your ideal partner will be like, take time to discover who you are and what makes you tick. Long-term relationships rely on compatibility far more than the strength of the initial attraction!

This book is packed with frank, witty and easy to follow advice together with useful questionnaires to help you evaluate how you can best succeed in your search. I highly recommend this to those of you who are looking to catch – and keep – your perfect partner.

Read, learn and enjoy. Oh, and if you need a little help from your friendly introduction agency experts, you know where we are.

RSVP members made of stern stuff!

Well, what a weekend! I hosted a superb meal at The Old Fire Engine House in Ely on Saturday evening, as one of RSVP's singles events in Cambridgeshire.

We decided to go ahead with the event despite the forecast of snow and although three people decided not to risk the weather, the rest of the group of 16 made it to the venue and we had a superb meal and good conversation - that's what we want from our singles events! I can certainly recommend this venue!

At the end of the evening, we opened the door to leave the restaurant and were confronted with a blizzard! Although the forecast had warned of snow, we were surprised at how fast it had come down!

I took a quick picture of Roland clearing the car - you can see the nice, warm restaurant in the background and you can just pick out Michael's landrover, our hero of the night - see below!

Most of the members managed to get away okay but we did have to tow one lady out of the drift and I was really impressed by a chap who lived on the road who came out to help us - a real good Samaritan. After several attempts at driving herself home, we eventually had to conclude that she wasn't going to make it home. So, one of our members, the lovely Michael, offered to drive her all the way home (in the opposite direction). He eventually arrived back at his home at 2.30am.

So having spent about two hours making sure everyone left okay, Roland and I set off on our journey back home. Luckily, we have four wheel drive and snow tyres! This doesn't really help, though, when the rest of the traffic can't move - as we discovered when we got to Huntingdon on the A14, where we found ourselves stuck in a queue (after an hour of waiting, we found it was caused by lorries unable to get up a hill). Thankfully, we had come prepared and put blankets and a flask of hot water in the car, so we were kitted out for the worst - spending the night in the car. However, we were relieved and very grateful to the police, who eventually managed to clear one lane so we were able to continue home, arriving around 3am!

We slept well!

Welcome to our RSVP Dating Blog

Hi, it's Anne here Chief Matchmaker from dating agency and singles club RSVP. We've decided to create this blog in to share some of our experiences here at RSVP, where we have been making happy couples for twenty years (as at 2012).

We want you all to see the life of a modern day matchmaker and also get the latest news. On this blog we'll be...

• sharing some of the secrets usually only available to our members;
• giving you hints on what to do and, of course, what not to do when dating;
• keeping an eye out on what's new in the dating world, including reviews of the latest dating books and courses out on the market.

What's more, our fantastic Events Manager will be letting you know about our Open Taster Singles Events, so you can come along and see what being part of RSVP is all about and the hosts will be keeping you up to date on how our many events have gone throughout the year.

And look out for our Dating Guru who will be sharing some of her top coaching tips.